Monthly Archives: June, 2004

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Yesterday, Greg came over for a Star Wars marathon. All of the original trilogy, on the special edition videos he borrowed from Ian’s mom. I hooked up my VCR/DVD player in the living room all by myself. Considering that I usually give electronic things to my parents to hook up, then stand back and stay out of the way, that’s an accomplishment. “Idiot-proof” or no. The movies were great. I’d seen part of Star Wars in school before and wanted to see them all since then. Or, should I say, I saw part of A New Hope. How can you rename a movie twenty years after its original release? Doing prequels upset the massive fans enough. Changing the title just makes it confusing. Granted, the movies themselves are still fabulous. I can see why people latched onto it so quickly. My dad walked by when we were watching. He said he remembers seeing… erm, the first one, I suppose, at the Uptown Theater in DC. He’d have been about sixteen. He said they waited in line for two hours! I love Harry Potter, but I would not wait that long to see the next movie. (Which, by the way, is currently just one movie, not two. It’d probably be better as two, but the screenplay’s written and currently being filmed as just one film.)

After Greg went home, I watched The Cosby Show on Nick at Nite. It was the episode where the family dresses up and pretends to be the “real world”, since Theo was cocky about being totally prepared for it. It was hilarious, just like every other time I’ve seen it. It made me nervous, though. When I finally hit the “real world”, without school, college, or my parents, I’ll already be in debt. Actually, I’ll be in debt before classes even start. It won’t be easy adjusting to life after college, if what I foresee for my adjustment to life after high school is any indication. It’ll be harder with thousands of dollars of loans to pay back. I want to have faith in my future self, but that doesn’t usually work out. Something doesn’t happen according to my plan.

Today’s been another slow day. I watched Drive Me Crazy on ABC Family after lunch. Not a great movie, but not terrible. I also finally fixed my graphic up there. There were never supposed to be squares around the butterflies. They blend in now.

My *NSync CD is skipping. It plays about ten seconds of “The Two of Us”, then goes straight into “Gone”. It doesn’t look scratched. I hope it’s okay. Until Justin stops being so snobby, my boys won’t make another CD. At the rate they’re going, that might be (sob) never. So I have to find solace in “Celebrity”.

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I was weeding at work this morning. That’s not easy work. Most of the weeds were easy to pull up, but some were attached to a vine. The vines just wouldn’t give up, though I think I pulled one out by the roots. I pulled, and I was holding this enormous clump of dirt. The pulling wasn’t bad, but bending over in the hot sun for an hour was. Most of the flowers in that garden are fake, but the weeds were smart, hiding right underneath the few real plants. And I had to keep avoiding the cicada carcasses lying around. I mistakenly looked up into one of the overhanging tree branches, and was absolutely terrified. Cicadas must have a natural expiration date. That would explain why, one day, they just all shut up. It’s so quiet now without the horrible cicada song in the background. Anyway, in the tree were casts of what were unmistakably cicadas, clinging to the leaves. It’s like they were chirping away, looking for some cicada lovin’, when they just died. Didn’t even get to let go of the tree. That’s kind of sad. On the other hand, I can walk to work without being terrified, so yay.

Last night, Greg, David, and I went to see White Chicks. It was really funny. The “white chicks” that weren’t Wayanses in costume had really bad lines, but that just made it funnier. The battle of “yo mama” jokes was great. “Your mother’s so dumb, she goes into Prada and tries to buy, like, Fendi and stuff.” I know stereotyping people based on being white or blonde (or black, for that matter) is technically wrong, but can I help it if it’s funny? We know the Wayans brothers weren’t being serious, they were just trying to make some money. And they’re genuinely funny, so it’s okay. We ate at Ruby Tuesday after, the one next to Hoffmann. The service wasn’t great. It was the same problem as Friendly’s. The service usually sucks, but the food is good, so you still want to go there.

I’m debating whether or not I should use a mouse with Bethany. I’ve gotten used to using the touchpad thing now. My mom brought back the one she bought me, which probably means she threw the receipt away. I want to know if she still has it. I can’t decide. I suppose the most crucial thing I’d use a mouse for is making pictures, which is dependent on my exploring Paint Shop Pro. I want to know if the whole thing’s a trial version (which I hope isn’t true), or if it just has special features that will expire.

I should go watch Friends and Jeopardy! tonight. I haven’t done that at all since I’ve been working. I spend so much time online. I want to keep that habit while I can, though, before I skip them to study this fall. College is a source of impending doom for me. It’s such a massive change. I don’t know if I’ll be able to deal with a roommate. I like my privacy. I have the whole house to myself while my family’s vacationing at Solomon’s Island. It’s weird with silence all around me, but I can deal. I’m also wary of actual college-level work. I could barely handle high school college-level work (e.g. Adkins). Which reminds me of AP exams. I hope I get credit for AP US History. I have to have gotten a 4, though, which is statistically unlikely. I don’t want a repeat of last year’s upsetting score. I just want to feel like working my butt off has paid off somehow. So far, all it’s gotten me is not being last at graduation, which was lovely.

Is it wrong that I’m unsatisfied?

Oh. I’ve enabled comments, just to see how that goes. The guestbook will remain, though.

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Right this moment, I am listening to the rugrats karaoke (is that a verb?) to Dream’s “He Loves U Not.” And singing along. Oh, nostalgia and hot holiday toys.

Mrs. Maus asked me yesterday if I would work this morning. I ended up canceling. I know I could use the money, and I felt terrible about “calling out”, especially since I called so late, but it was necessary. I needed to sleep. I don’t have to get up at oh-dark-hundred to get to my job, but it’s still earlier than if I woke up naturally. My mom woke me up by coming into my room. Something about sleeping so late; it was almost 11am. I looked at the other side of my bed (it’s full size), and saw that the covers were perfectly smooth. That always means that, as my mom says, I “slept like a rock.” I felt refreshed, though I came out of a really weird dream. Not that I have any normal dreams, per se. I remember I had quintuplets. Two boys, three girls, all Greg’s. Then there was something about a party or presentation in a gym that looked a lot like Flowers’. I had just broken off a slightly uncomfortable hug from Avril Lavigne, with Travis and one of the other guys from Blink-182 nearby, when my mom burst in. My dreams are usually conglomerations of things that have been on my mind. That was just freaky.

I spent the rest of the day on the computer. Most of my files are transferred, except for my music. I have a lot of music on that computer. When I explained my transfer process to my dad, he remembered a program one of his coworkers in Japan used to transfer files from his work computer to a laptop. If I’m not mistaken, it’s the same thing Mrs. Maus mentioned yesterday, and the label on a disk I saw while we cleaned up her second office. However, it’s a disk. My laptop, which I have named Bethany, doesn’t have a “floppy” drive. (We came across real, old-fashioned floppies cleaning yesterday. These 3.5″ deals are not floppy.) Even if she offered to let me use it, I couldn’t. I’m stuck with the upload/download dance.

I helped Ryan learn to play computer Solitaire today. For all the time he and Courtney spend together, you think he’d know how it goes. I realized he had a problem when he asked why the “clover” wouldn’t stick on top of the other clover. Kids are so cute sometimes. You know, when they’re not like fire ants.

My back hurts from sitting in this chair. It has zero back support. That is all.

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I have so much to say, it astonishes me. I know, though, that I won’t be able to say it all. That’s just how these things work when I don’t blog right away.

The party was, by far, the best family gathering I’ve ever attended. Megan called to say she’d be coming, which surprised me. I’d expected just family (with a few additions) and Greg, but having Megan there made my experience more enjoyable. There were so many people here. A lot of them are relatives that I only see at family gatherings. It was awkward forgetting who was whom, but since I don’t see them regularly, I don’t think they really minded. The food was pretty good, except that there was so much left over, I knew I’d be eating it for days. (There’s still some left.) My cake was indeed marble, despite Giant’s label. Bakeries put so much frosting on their cakes. I want to taste some cake when I eat it, not just globs of frosting. I spent most of the party talking to Greg and Megan. When “Aunt” Cookie pulled me aside for a long spiel of college advice, they talked to my Aunt Linda. She likes to talk. I finally got my laptop, which I am using right now. I also got money, and some other gifts. My Uncle John and Aunt Harding (she’s my sole white relative) gave me monogrammed towels, to keep my roommate or anyone else from stealing them. They’re not far out of college, so they’d know. The party ended late, so I went to bed at around 2am, but I felt loved. It was one night where I didn’t mind all eyes being on me. I wish my grandma could have been there, though. I miss her.

On Sunday, I went to Megan and Stephanie’s graduation party. I had fun. I always enjoy myself at parties with my friends, since I go to them so rarely. They had good food too, including Pasta Bake, which I love. I was kind of tired of barbecue food, but food is food. We played Taboo, CatchPhrase, and Cranium. Greg, Adric, and I were on the same Cranium team. Meery started cracking on us, saying that our being on the same team was unfair because we “have the same brain.” I can’t help it if we spend so much time together that we understand each other. Even if I could help it, I wouldn’t. And for the record, Meery’s team won, so our same-brainness didn’t help us that much. After games, we went outside to play before it got pitch-black. We played volleyball first. I didn’t suck. I did manage to fall in a hole, though. I guess their new dog likes to dig. I was wearing sandals, so my foot got all dirty. Everyone played dodgeball and freeze tag after that. Had I been wearing normal shoes, I would have played. But, as I already get blisters and I can’t run regardless, I sat out. I wanted to play. I still had a great time. I’m going to miss all this. It just can’t be the same next year, you know?

Speaking of next year, my UMD orientation Monday and Tuesday involved a lot of information about that. I had to get up at the crack of dawn to be there on time, but senior year helped me get used to operating on low sleep. The orientation itself was lots of moving around campus, meetings, and papers. At check-in, I realized i should have brought a backpack, since I was stuck carrying around a small stack of books and folders all day. My psychic powers kicked in at registration. I knew that as soon as I left for the bathroom, my advisor would show up, so I waited. Finally I just went, so of course she was there when I got back. Though, as my Orientation Advisor, Maighdlin (like Mary Magdalene, but the Gaelic spelling) pointed out, fate may have kept her away until I left. It turns out that, since I don’t intend to major in anything relating to math or science, I can get away with Probability and Statistics and be done with math altogether. Yay, no calculus! I think I need to change my schedule, though. I only have one class on Friday, and it’s at 2pm, which is not going to work. I can have 2 classes on Friday, or none. Not just one. Especially not math. I will have zero motivation to go.

My general impression of college is that I can do it. I can get used to sharing a space roughly the size of my current room with a complete stranger. I can get used to using communal bathrooms on a daily basis. (I just have to stop getting hurt. At MLW, I stubbed my toe getting in the shower. At UMD, I cut my knuckle on an upturned razor.) I just have to build new habits. Once I can go into autopilot, I’ll be fine. I also might need new sneakers. I can tell I’ll be doing a lot of walking. Maryland has a lot of hills. I’m hoping that schlepping around campus will do for my legs what carrying so many books did for my arms. (Hello, biceps.) I think I can handle the work, but I won’t really know until it’s assigned. I’m already used to late nights.

On Wednesday, I started another closet at work. You would not believe the sheer accumulation there is in that house. After work, Greg took me to see Saved! at Hoffman. It was great. All the acting was good, especially Mandy’s. “She makes a good villainess,” said Greg. It was funny and dramatic, and it had a good message. Fundamentalist Christians would likely be horribly offended by it, seeing as they are the focus of the film, and they’re not portrayed as the good guys. All the characters were great, especially Macaulay Culkin’s (yes, he’s still alive and acting, he’s just not ten years old anymore), though I though Patrick Fugit’s character was underused. I will definitely buy this when it’s out on DVD. I’m still on the fence over Chasing Liberty, but Mandy’s performance was stellar. Indie films are so underappreciated, with the exception of the fabulous My Big Fat Greek Wedding. If you get the chance, you should definitely see it. You’ll leave feeling quite satisfied. I knew the basic plot from weeks of stalking Moviefone for Saved! to enter wide release, but there was enough in the movie to keep me surprised and entertained.

Yesterday, I didn’t do much. I continued trying to set up my computer properly. It’s a Dell Inspiron 1150, all silver and quite nifty. I’m learning how to use Windows XP and adjusting to typing on a laptop keyboard. My mom bought me a cute little mini-mouse, but I haven’t connected it yet. I’m also getting used to 1024×768. Now Rajni’s site is lined up better, and mine is not the way I meant it to be. I have PSP8, though I haven’t used it, so once I get my files transferred, I should be able to fix everything. The transfer process is going to be arduous, though. The big computer, as I now refer to it, has a completely non-functional CD drive, even with the memory my dad added. If the CD drive would work for, like, fifteen minutes, I could use my XP CD to transfer the rest of my files and be done with it. Alas, for now I’m stuck with uploading to Yahoo! Briefcase and downloading onto my new baby. It sucks, but it’s working.

Greg and I had a fight last night. Nothing serious; they rarely are. I think we were just overdue for some good therapeutic yelling. My parents do the same thing. After sleeping on it, I apologized, and we’re fine now. Oh, and Andra? I don’t think “interesting” is the appropriate term for InPerson!Greg, but hopefully you’ll be able to find out for yourself. Tonight we’re going out to see… I actually don’t know. It won’t be horror, so I’m good.

Back to the briefcase for now.

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I’m having a graduation party for my family tonight. There’s already some big boxes on the fireplace, presumably with my name on them. I get my laptop tonight! Yay! True, I have to suffer through a family gathering again. The last party we had was for my sixteenth birthday. Not exactly the best I’ve been to — and it was in my honor.

I graduated Wednesday. Wow. It’s officially over. I tried to cheer Greg up afterwards. He had been scowling the whole time — I leaned around Dr. Swinton to look at him. “You never have to go back to school again,” I said. Considering that the school is within sight of his porch, you think that would cheer him up. But no, I’m dating Grumpy now. (Oops, didn’t mean it that way, Choi!)

The ceremony itself was long, but not particularly boring. I was seated between Alanna and Mykella, though, so I was okay. Also, they put the counselors and presenters on the stage in front of the row of honor, and Dr. Swinton has big hair, so I was pretty much hidden. Boo. On the bright side, I graduated seventh in a class of five-hundred forty-nine. I shall do a happy dance now. (Is my good mood obvious?) As soon as I saw the mass of guests at the Comcast Center, I gave up trying to locate my family. They were near the sign for Jonnese. My aunt was near that person with the air horn, and I don’t know where Papa and Bridgette were. They left without coming to meet me, so if my mom hadn’t confirmed it, I wouldn’t have known they’d attended. That kind of hurts. I swear I have never posed for so many pictures in one sitting. I hope at least one turned out. We went to eat at Red Lobster in New Carrollton afterwards. Nothing aquatic belongs on my plate, so I had chicken. Red sauce wasn’t the best choice in my white dress, but I got away with just a few small flecks. Yay for neat eating. We didn’t get home until 10:30, but I had a great night. 04, baby!

Yesterday was just a day. I went to work at 11, same as usual. I finished cleaning another closet. I also remembered to watch the MTV Movie Awards. I try to keep up with Lindsay Lohan (can’t go misusing my name), who hosted. She was pretty good. I liked the opening sketch with her SNL “parents”, and the Kill Bill scene with Andy Dick. I also liked the theme of the insane asylum for the categories. Much better than that VMA’s (was it last year?) that used Moon Man kitchen appliances. I almost wanted Ellen Degeneres to win Best Comedic Performance, just because of that Finding Nemo scene they showed. [“I will call him Squishy, and he will be my Squishy. (incoherent babbling) Ouch!”] I also liked the mention of hobbit-on-hobbit, even though, ew. I’m sure all the LOTR fandom slashers were overjoyed, though. It was a good show, and I’m glad Johnny Depp got an award for Pirates of the Caribbean — I wanted him to get the Oscar! He was fabulous!

Today, I went to work early. The stock market was closed today for President Reagan’s funeral, so we cleaned together while we watched the events on Fox. It was strange watching the arrival on Andrews, since that’s not far from where I live. I thought Margaret Thatcher’s speech was great. Bush the Younger’s was okay, if on the long side.

The cicadas are gone, the cicadas are gone! Well, I saw one yesterday, but all the others were dead. Good riddance, I say. No more of that awful screechy noise in the background. Remind me not to live here in seventeen years.

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Graduation is tomorrow! On the way home from rehearsal today, we were all wondering how it got to be so soon. Not next year, not in the summer, not two weeks, but tomorrow. And tomorrow, it’ll be today. Hmm.

We two rehearsals for graduation, one yesterday, and one today, along with the senior picnic. Yesterday, we got started about an hour late. Really, is it that hard to put folding chairs in the gym ahead of time? I know, five hundred chairs is a lot, but still. They didn’t have a concrete seating plan, so I was stuck in the back with the other W’s. I was in row Y! There was only one row behind me. That’s depressing. The curse of the W gets to you after a while.

We spent most of the morning going over the procedure, asking last-minute questions, and practicing the processional. We did it… three times, I think. We were all sitting in order, so we marched out and waited in the small gym to march back in. At our school, the boys wear black robes, and the girls wear gold, so we’re separated by gender in the seating arrangement. We were standing in the small gym, waiting for the sponsors to start us marching back, when someone from the boys’ side threw something to the girls’ side. A few more things went that way. Then one of the girls threw something back. Then, one of the boys threw a water cooler. You know, one of those jugs they put on top of the faucet part of water coolers. It hit one of the girls, Ava (I think she was in my English class last year). Some of our class is just so stupid. It can’t hurt that much to be obedient and still for a few hours. Eventually, the admins heard the commotion and just herded us back into the gym, out of formation. After the appropriate dressing-down, we marched again. That time, we got it right.

They passed out medallions (which I won’t be wearing; I have a special one for top 5%), copies of the… I guess you could call it the composite class picture, and free t-shirts with all the seniors’ names on the back. The shirts are cute. I would have bought one of the shirts from Class Day, but now I’m glad I didn’t. Free is always good. We got our cap-and-gown packages, then went out to the bleachers to take the panoramic picture. It took forever to get everyone organized, and I wound up in the impromptu line in the very front, and I think there are snags in my gown now. Some people didn’t even stay for the picture, so I’m glad I didn’t buy it.

Rehearsal ended around 1:00. Greg and I went back to his house, then Gonzo gave us and David a ride to Ian’s house. Despite being out until 11:30 last night, I had a pretty good time. They played GameCube first. I’m getting slightly better at being Greg’s partner on Mario Kart: Double Dash, but since I never play video games, I still suck. They don’t rub it in, though, which is nice. I can’t say I’d do the same. While they played Magic, Ian’s mom let me use her laptop. I read a bunch of short fics on FictionAlley — it’s been over six months since I was last there, and that wasn’t even a real visit. I used to go there all the time.

I was going to play a board game when they finally switched (something about dungeons), but it was so complicated, I just gave up. Then, they brought out Monopoly. I’ve seen those guys play before. They play mean. I’m too nice for their version. I stayed out. Vicki, Ian’s mom, and I played Quiddler instead. (I’m re-reading Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix right now, so Quiddler kept sounding like a combination of “Quidditch” and “Quibbler”.) Ian’s mom described Quiddler as a combination of Scrabble and Gin, but I never play Gin, so I kept forgetting to discard a card. She helped me, though. I had so many qu’s and z’s, and I was tired from getting up early for rehearsal. Lethargy and bleary eyes seriously impair my vocabulary. I did pull off “puce” and “aa”, though. (“Aa” is a word. Something about Hawaiian lava. It’s in the dictionary, so it counts.) I lost, but I was only 30 points behind second place. Vicki had this awesome hand. At first, she had about five vowels left over, but you lose points for any leftover letters, so she rearranged hers until she only had one leftover vowel. As it turns out, she usually wins that game.

Today, I got up, quite tired, and got another ride to school from Stephanie. Mindy’s still being repaired. When I finally do get her back, she won’t be driven much, and then I can’t take her to school in August. I hope I don’t forget how to drive. This time, there were no mishaps. There was a small fight, but it was resolved quickly enough. I am in the top 5% of my class (top eleven people), and my cumulative GPA is over 4.0, so I will be in the Row of Honor, on the stage during graduation. Only fifteen people are up there, so I feel special. I also feel like a nerd, but that’s nothing new. They reorganized the seating to fill gaps and separate the Row of Honor today. There are still seven more rows of girls than boys, though. I think girls are slightly more common than boys statistically. Everyone else practiced marching again. I don’t think anything went wrong this time, as there was no lecture. We were told that the Row of Honor will enter first, before the rest of the class. Being the last person alphabetically on the Row, I might have to walk in first, behind the ROTC escort. That is not good. Much potential for tripping and being incredibly embarrassed in front of my class, my family, and a few thousand other guests. A few more reminders, and we were turned loose until tomorrow afternoon.

After rehearsal we had the Senior Picnic. Last year, 03’s picnic was at Six Flags. Ours was on the football field. Yep. We had to wait a while for food. It wasn’t terrible, though the baked beans totally burned my tongue. I usually burn it on hot chocolate, but the feeling is definitely not new. My taste buds will feel normal again a day or two. Greg left with his friends to hang out at someone’s house, so I was lonely at first. Then I caught up with Megan, Stephanie, and Choi. We played Twister with a bunch of other people on this inflatable board. Like MoonBounce Twister. I’m tall, so I can reach far-away spaces, but I have zero flexibility, so I fell pretty early during the rounds. I had so much fun, though. We left around 2:00. I put on sunscreen this morning, but it must have worn off. I think I tanned worse on top of my arms. I must be five or six shades of brown by now. I need to go swimming and even it out all at once. After that first swimming trip, I get as toasty as possible and fade from there.

After we left the picnic, I tried to get a guest pass to give my transcript envelope to guidance. The lady at the sign-in desk wouldn’t let me in, though. I didn’t feel like dealing with her rude attitude, so I just left. I should have kept walking past the desk. On the day of the AP Lit test, I went in and out of school without anyone saying a word to me. Our security is so incredibly lax. I went with Megan, Steph, and Choi while Megan returned some supplies she’d borrowed from Mr. Mrad for her RP project. Then Steph dropped me off. I watched some MTV and took a nap. I miss work, but only because it’s how I’m making money this summer. Otherwise, I like having free time.

I have to submit my financial aid info to UMD today. In other words, I have to request a large loan for me and an even larger loan for my parents. And that’s just for this year. I swear, I’m going on Jeopardy! and paying off my loans in one fell swoop. Just watch me.

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Last night, Greg and I saw — what else?– Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban. Warning: Spoilers ahead. It was really good. You can tell that there’s a different director. The aura and flow of the movie are so different. Instead of leaving the theater with the feeling that I’d seen the book come to life, I felt that I’d seen a movie about book three. The acting in this film was the best so far. Emma Watson’s Hermione came across as a bit too bossy and young at first. Hermione is now much more confident and bold than before. Not all the blame can be put on Emma, though, because she acts well the lines she’s given. My only complaint for her? She’s too pretty to be Hermione. :) David Thewlis was excellent as Professor Lupin. I could understand why he formed such a close bond with Harry. Seeing scars on his face midway through the movie, presumably from a violent lupine transformation, I felt genuine sympathy. Gary Oldman made an excellent Sirius. His raw reactions after spending over a decade tormented by Dementors came across with great clarity. He merely wanted justice. The adult actors had less screen time in this movie, but their performances were superb. Michael Gambon isn’t the same sort of Dumbledore that Richard Harris was, but his new take on the part is enjoyable.

Even without some more favored moments of the book, the movie tells the story on its own. Vital pieces were minimized or left out, though. When Lupin finds Harry with the Marauder’s Map, he not only knows that it is a map, he knows how to use it. Unless he is clearly identified as Moony, non-book reading viewers could be confused. His nickname is apparently mentioned during a rushed exchange between Lupin and Sirius in the Shrieking Shack, but I missed him. I’m sure others did, too. Also, it wasn’t clearly explained that a Patronus has shape. Am I the only one who was confused to see not a stag emerge from Harry’s wand, but a force field? That Harry’s Patronus takes the shape of a stag is important to building the information Harry knows about his father. Lupin’s wolf form was skinnier and less hairy than any I’ve seen, but his ruthlessness was apparent. I suppose a less informed viewer would have connected Sirius in dog form with the “Grim”, especially after seeing Scabbers become a decidedly rat-looking Peter Pettigrew, but I can’t be sure. Overall, Alfonso Cuaron did a terrific job. Some established settings are different, but the selection of scenes included tell the story of Harry’s third year without too much to bog it down, although at a rather quick pace. You can start reading again now.

Getting paid for being a sort of “cleaning lady” makes the job worth it. I don’t want to work during the school year, but I’ll still need money. I already feel bad for my parents’ loans. The less I have to ask them for, the better. I’ve never had an actual budget; then again, I never have piles of cash at hand. Without a car and with more studying to do, I’ll probably have less opportunity to shop, anyway. Everything will be so new this year. We’re all in for some big changes. I honestly don’t know if I can handle them all.

Don’t worry about my worrying, Steph. I was thinking about that a few days ago. I think I thrive on stress. I have the awesome ability to find something to worry or stress over at all times. It sucks. It really does. This year was horrific. I was so worked up that my stress started to manifest physically. It was such a relief to finally go to bed, knowing that I rarely have dreams to interrupt an otherwise placid night. But morning always came, coupled with more turmoil. When one thing finally ended, there was always another.

And now, college. Not living with my parents. Having a roommate. Managing my money. Managing my time (you see how well that’s worked out in the past). Greg, provided the uncertainty of our future doesn’t break us apart before I leave for school. Losing almost all privacy. An ocean of new people, many of whom I will have nothing in common with. I know meeting new people is part of college life, but I’ve done that so many times already. I’m tired of it.

Am I crazy for worrying so much, with school being so far off? Maybe. But I already knew that.

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