I’m kind of depressed right now. Yesterday’s post apparently didn’t get published. The gist of it:
Now, you also know that it is one of my greatest ambitions to appear on Jeopardy!. I’d love to win, but it could also be like It’s Ac. I was on tv, and that was cool, even if it was a little-watched show and we lost. Twice. So, keeping that in mind, know that I am not jealous when I say that I’m tired of Ken. I want him to go home. I want the next article to be “Giant-Killer Dethrones Jeopardy! Millionaire” or something like that. He’s got enough money for a long time. Yeah, he’s good, but I just could use some new faces. A close game, where the leader isn’t winning by tens of thousands of dollars. In fact, the most interesting episode I’ve seen this past month was where Ken turned to his formidable opponent and said, “Good game.” If Ken hadn’t been there, that guy would have totally won. Ken, you’re great, but go home.
That said, I will be watching tonight to see what happens. You should, too. Channel 7 at 7:30 here, just before prime-time on ABC wherever you happen to be.
Ken won again on Jeopardy!. He stumbled, though. If he hadn’t gotten the last question of the Double Jeopardy round right, he might have had to actually take a risk. See, usually, his total is several thousand dollars above twice any of his opponents’ totals. If he hadn’t just made it, the woman from last night might have risked everything, gotten the Final Jeopardy question correct, and beaten him. That would have been cool.
Also, Greg is angry with me. I don’t want to talk about it.
And college worries me. Not that I’ve ever really felt good about it, but still. It’s so new. I was reading some things Rajni wrote about her schedule planning for the fall, and I realized that I have no idea what I’m doing. I’m not used to having so many options. So many choices to make. So many chances to royally screw things up for myself. Making excellent grades my whole life has made me complacent. I’m too used to doing well. Now, there are so many factors waiting to attack. Picking the wrong time for a class, or the wrong professor, not understanding the material, not being able to handle the work…. I can’t just hope things will work out. Most of the time, they do. But I hate hoping for things. It’s just that much harder when I don’t get what I wished for.
This is eerily reminiscent of the Year from Hell. It’s not fair. My life will presumably become more difficult as it goes on, but I’m supposed to be able to handle it, right? I don’t know if I can.