Monthly Archives: February, 2005

The Life of Lindsay

Friday Five
1.) If you were in a band (you know, a successful one…), and you HAD to remake an old song, what band/song would you choose and why? Old old? Uh, I like Peter Gabriel’s “In Your Eyes”. It’s a tad on the cheesy side, but I can never resist singing along when it comes on the radio. And I can’t thing any “old” female-singer songs right now.
2.) If you were a Make-a-Wish child, what would you wish for (and why)? I have no idea. Literally, nothing.
3.) If you had the chance to learn when you were going to die, would you take it? Would you tell anyone if you knew (either your date of death or theirs)? No and no. It keeps you on your toes, knowing that “tomorrow is not promised to you.” Some people think living each day to the fullest means taking chances and being wild. I think it just means being content. Finding peace in each day.
4.) If you couldn’t die until you helped someone, would you rather live forever selfishly or die earlier? If “earlier” means “after an ordinary life”, then yes.
5.) If there’s any goal you haven’t accomplished yet, what is it and what is stopping you? I always meant to publish a book. Life is stopping me. Specifically, school and lack of “inspiration”. “Image” was inspired, and it turned out well, though I think it needs another edit. I might submit it to the lit magazine; I don’t know.

Last week in the Life of Lindsay:
Weekend: I went home Friday afternoon, so my weekend had lots of studying and quiet. And slow internet, and no good food. Part of the reason I go home is to get some good food, and no one cooked. My mom promised me beef stew next trip home, though.

Monday: Our stolen holiday. It’s so weird that we don’t even close for most federal holidays. The women’s studies reading this week was on health, so our TA’s had fun discussing sexual health. I was amazed people didn’t know what a dental dam was. Maybe that’s just because I believe in being incredibly informed, even if the information never gets put to practical use.

Tuesday: The longest day of my week. I barely finished the lit reading, but at least I wasn’t lost like last week. We got into groups to help quiet people speak up during discussion. The other three people in my group were upperclassmen; one was actually a graduate returning to study English education, like me, only not. Buffy class was fine. I didn’t say anything in discussion, though. Must speak up. Astro lab was long. I got home at 10, but only because one of the guys that drive gave me, Seabastian, and Dustin a ride back to campus. Yay for random acts of kindness.

Wednesday: I was glad I managed to do the anthology reading for my workshop, because she gave us a pop quiz. Had I not read it near midnight, just before I started dozing off over my books and quit studying, I would have done a bit better. I think I did okay, though, and I contributed to discussion and volunteered to read and everything. Women’s studies lecture was long and rambly, as usual. She passed around Our Bodies, Ourselves — interesting book, if a bit graphic. I get so tired of that lecture. Two hours straight without a focus gets tiring, but it was the only way WMST would fit into my schedule, I need it for my second SB, and it’s fairly interesting, so I can deal. I went to Sign Language Club after two missed weeks (church and studying). I forget that so many of the members know, like, conversational ASL. I have so much trouble, but it’s my one activity and I’m sticking with it. I might even take Crazy Mike along next time. Later, some of the guys were being loud in the study lounge. I actually had to move to the regular lounge for quiet study.

Yesterday: Snow day. I didn’t even expect it to actually snow. It’s been “supposed to snow” since last weekend. I got up, showered, and went back to sleep for a few hours. Then I read a week’s worth of Diamondbacks in the lounge, went to eat with Sara, spent some time online, got a sandwich from the Diner (Saturday hours for inclement weather), and spent more time online. I watched ER with Alex in her and Mykella’s room, then came back and went to bed. My eyes were killing me from all the reading. It was nice to not have to study all day, though.

I haven’t done much today. I got up, got breakfast, went to Astro lecture, and came back. I’ve been sitting at the computer since then. I have work to do, and a presentation and paper — a critical paper on poetry! — for Monday, but I’m being lazy. Carrying over from yesterday. Ugh, looks like another shut-in weekend for Lindsay.

Contrariwise (A Profile)

rare spontaneous
unexpected bold
curious intriguing
intuitive fearless
unusual audacious
brash undaunted
irreverent daring
dynamic maverick
unbridled soulful
provocative strong
wild unwavering
romantic genuine
unorthodox brave
renegade radical
visionary dreamer

I am complicated. I am unique. Most of all, I am Lindsay.

I’m eighteen, a college freshman, and a military brat (but I hate being called a “brat”). I’ve lived in Japan and Germany, and visited many more places, even though I was born an East Coast girl and came back after my cosmopolitan years. I have a younger sister and a younger brother who tag-team to drive me insane. I embody so many qualities of a Virgo, it scares me. I can’t live without my computer, my tv, my cell phone, lip gloss, a good moisturizer, and books. I can’t stand spiders, stress, scary movies, or itchy bug bites. If you need to know anything about Harry Potter, I can probably tell you. At the very least, I know how to find out. I can spell almost anything, which is a blessing and a curse. I love pop music, but as long as the music isn’t screechy, the singer can sing, and there’s not too many curse words, I’ll listen to it. I cry more than I’ll admit. I’m rarely found without a book; my favorite is Lewis Carroll’s Alice in Wonderland. Fantasy is a gift that never gets old or goes out of style. I think my best physical assets are my eyes and my hands, not my hair. I believe a good movie should make you think, laugh, gasp in (good) shock, feel warm and fuzzy, or any or all of the above. I am a perfectionist to a fault. I correct people’s speech, and their writing when they ask. I used to be incredibly shy, but a switch flicked on somewhere and that all changed. If you want to know, ask. My clothes philosophy is, “If it’s not comfortable, don’t wear it.” I can’t do a cartwheel, but I can swim. I love to dance, mostly when I just make it up as I go along. Pets can be good, but I’m fine without any. Some people have too much time on their hands. Time is one thing I wish I could have more of. You can never have too many earrings. I believe in God, and I believe that he has a plan for each of us. I know that sometimes the path gets unbearably steep, and you want to give up and roll back down. There’s something special waiting at the top, though, for those that have enough in them to make it all the way. I love to write. Words have the power to inform, to persuade, to express feelings, and to change the world. “Let there be light.” “I have a dream.” “I love you.” My long-term memory sucks. Short-term is okay. Where was I? I use big words all the time, but they’re normal-sized to me. I can be obsessive-compulsive at times. Sometimes I have no idea who I am, or what to do, or what to think. It’s all so overwhelming, I can barely comprehend it. I just know that the good moments in life help make up for the bad ones. You only get one chance at life. I’m not going to screw up mine.

(last edited February 18, 2005; posted June 23, 2010)

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Friday Five
1. If you could have anything you wanted to eat for a day, what would you choose for your meals and snacks? For breakfast: Testudo waffles from the Diner, and turkey bacon. For lunch: a scrambled egg sandwich (my specialty). For dinner: one of those calzones my mom used to make when we lived in Japan — they were so good! Afternoon snack: Goldfish crackers. Evening snack: a vanilla milkshake or chocolate milk.
2. Is there ever a dish/food or dessert you wanted to try but never had the opportunity, what is it? For me, it’s more a matter of whether I will try something new when I have the opportunity. I’m picky.
3. What’s a dish/food or dessert you’ve tried that you wish you hadn’t? Peas. I ate them in fried rice once and was disgusted. I have problems with green food.
4. Ever watch cooking shows? (i.e. “Great Chefs,” “Epicurious,” etc.) Not on purpose, but Good Eats on the Food Network is nice. Oh, and that one where they tell the story behind the food, but I forget what it’s called.
5. Are you hungry yet? Nope. It’s only been about two hours since breakfast.

The Vagina Monologues was lovely, as expected. They were funny (especially “My Angry Vagina”), and sad, and honest. I went with Sara, and then a group of us from the floor walked back in the cold wind.

I spent a lot of last weekend studying, too. I went to church on Sunday with Sara, then to breakfast for some Testudo waffles (see Friday Five).

On Monday, one of my women’s studies TAs gave us Crunch hearts, my favorite V-Day candy. We shared our essays on identity and social location. Mine was hard to write. It was hard to articulate how I’ve come to be all the parts of my identity and how society creates and encourages aspects of identity. It reminded me a little of when I wrote my “about” page. I wasn’t sure what to include, what not to include, and how to accurately represent myself. It turned out nicely, though.

Greg came by Monday evening. He gave me truffles, a drawing of a flower, and a very large, expensive card. I wasn’t sure how to react. Who does all that for someone with whom they’re broken up unless they want to get back together? Then he decided to stop talking to me. I can’t blame him. Don’t let him convince you that I forced him to stop talking to me, though. I won’t let him make me a villain any more. He stopped talking to me. He AIM-blocked me. I hope he’s happy with his decision.

On Tuesday, we finally got to watch Buffy in class. Some of the people in that class were never Buffy fans, so we kept explaining backstory to them since we were watching second-season episodes. It was weird watching for critical value, instead of just because it’s awesome. Our teacher mentioned that we might need to watch some episodes more than once (he’s offering his DVD box sets for borrowing) to get the plot before we analyze, but since I’ve seen the episodes for plot value already, I feel like I’m a teeny step ahead. Oh, and in Astro lab, a bunch of us almost missed the shuttle back to campus.

On Wednesday, my poem came up in workshop. I was terrified. I usually don’t try to rhyme, let alone slant rhyme. Then, re-reading it, it seemed so hokey and forced. I’d used “arraign” to finish a slant rhyme, and when Megha asked me what it meant, I couldn’t tell her. Oh, the agony is thick. The class actually liked it, though. I made a reference to the Metro toward the end, and started with one to Alice in Wonderland. It was eye-opening to see how people responded to something to which I was so critical. I felt a lot better after that.

Yesterday, I was so lost in literature. That is, in my lit class. (I’d like to still have the time to get lost in a book, though.) I dozed off a little bit even though I went to bed a little early. I woke up as the day continued, though. I went to dinner with Sara, then watched ER and the news in the guy-triple with a bunch of people. I like being around people. I can watch tv alone, I can eat alone, I can spend whole weeks alone. It’s not fun, though. I love how cohesive our floor is. We’re one big happy E4 family. (E for our building, 4 for our floor.) Perry brought up last night what I’d been thinking: It would be so cool to move the whole floor (or at least the people we like) somewhere else. Tanya mentioned she was looking at Carroll for HH, which could be cool. I’ve become a part of this group, and I like it. I don’t want it to change.

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Friday Five
1) Would you rather live in a world with or without technology such as computers, cars, airplanes, bombs? When you consider all the destructive technology (like weapons), living without it seems like it might be a good idea. But technology also saves lives, and the Information Age is a great thing, so I would rather live with it.
2) If you had to live without either heating in your house or air conditioning, which one would you keep? I’d keep heat. Living in these sweatbox dorms is enlightening. You can get used to heat with a lot of fans and good cross-ventilation, but I couldn’t live without heat. I wouldn’t want to freeze.
3) If you had to own five dogs, what kind would you get? Those little white Scottish terriers are adorable. So are beagles. Of course, I don’t want one dog, let alone five, so I’m just going out on a limb.
4) If the world had a front porch, what would you do on it? Sit and swing, and look out over everything. It’d be something like imagining the scale of the universe; we are so insignificant in the grand scheme of things.
5) Would you rather live in a neighborhood where you know all of your neighbors by name, or where everyone sticks to their own business? I’d rather know everyone. My floor is about half-and-half. Some of us are like one big happy family, some people left us for a better dorm (boo!), and some never really wanted to be a part of our floor-family, so they aren’t. It’s so nice having that kind of relationship. It’d be weird being surrounded by a bunch of total strangers (instead of just a bunch of people that are totally strange).

This has been a busy week. I spent all weekend studying. Friday night, though, I ran into a bunch of people from the floor at dinner. I wound up going with them to see The Incredibles for free afterward. The movie was lovely — and packed. Our floor group took up about half of the back row. Yay for free entertainment. But for the rest of the weekend, I studied.

In women’s studies discussion on Monday, our TA’s shared “cultural products”, which are just things that correspond with the week’s reading. We’d been reading theory, so the cultural products were pretty general. One of the TA’s brought in this great article by Gloria Steinem, “If Men Could Menstruate.” Read it; it’s so funny. The best humor is based in reality. I went to dinner at Adele’s with Hana and Sara. I had a cordon blew cheeseburger, which was as odd as it sounds. Ham doesn’t complement beef the way it does chicken. I even had a big dessert — I never have big desserts. I had to cram in that night’s work, but I blew through some meal plan points. Boo for focus dates!

I got up early to do my laundry and study on Tuesday. I need a better plan. I was late going out for breakfast. I just barely finished reading Tartuffe for class. My clothes had to come out of the dryer too soon, so some of them were still wet. And on top of that, I was late to class (only by a few minutes, but still). That morning sucked.

On Wednesday, I went to church. It was Ash Wednesday, and I’m Catholic. I rarely write about religion here, but that’s because I pushed it aside in my life. I want it back. I went with Sara to mass (we saw a bunch of other people there), fasted, and got my ashes. We made really good time getting to the Catholic Student Center, considering that we’d never been there before and it’s way far away. The priest made a comment about the ashes seeming like a symbol of being in the Catholic club. It was interesting finding out who’s Catholic, since the ashes are such an obvious symbol. After mass, we went to dinner with Hana. She guilted us the whole way there; she’d wanted dinner when we were off to church, but to be fair, we had invited her to come to mass with us. Oh, and in the spirit of Lent, watch “Baby Got Book”, a parody of “Baby Got Back”, Bible-style.

Yesterday, I actually didn’t manage to finish Candide for class. My teacher was discussing the ending, and I felt so dumb because I was just a few pages shy when class started. I went to dinner with another bunch of people from the hall. Megha, Adrienne, and Crazy Mike were going to Platinum afterward; I might have gone if not for my lonely 9am class today.

So today, I grudgingly woke up for class. I’m so exhausted lately. I know it’s not possible to literally drag yourself out of bed, but I’m as close as you can get and still be figurative. I was late leaving, but a bunch of people were at breakfast, so that was nice. And, I finally managed to get the book and CDs I needed for my Honors seminar. And, I finished reading this week’s newspapers yesterday. So, I’m all caught up now. I’m leaving now to go get lunch and a ticket for The Vagina Monologues tonight. Aside from the massive studying, this has been a pretty good week.

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Friday Five:
1. How old were you when you got your drivers license? 17. I could have had it shortly after I turned 16, but procrastinating on getting the certificate from my driving school made it later.
2. Did you get your own car right away, use the family car, or bum rides from friends? My grandparents had already given me their car to drive.
3. What was your first car and what was it like? It is a white 1994 Volkswagen Jetta I call Mindy. She’s been through several accidents, including mine last May. She has an enormous trunk, which I remember was especially handy when my grandma picked my family up from the airport years ago, when she was still driving it. She’s also excellent on gas, but her brakes squeak.
4. How old were you when you got your first traffic ticket and what happened? I’ve never gotten a ticket. I actually don’t even know if my accident restarted my provisional period. We had to file a police report so insurance would cover it, but I don’t know if anyone told MVA. I would call and check, but that’d seem so awkward. “Hi, did I screw up last year? Yes, I’ll hold.”
5. What is your favorite car story, be it an accident, road trip, etc? I don’t have any good car stories. My sole accident was traumatic, not funny. Besides my flat tire a few weeks ago, my driving life has been typical.

This time last week, I was bored. Now, I’m ready to declare this semester complete crap.

Saturday night, I watched Gone in Sixty Seconds, The Stepford Wives, and The Blue Brothers in one of the guy triples with Tom, Scott, Ali, and Guy. I was up ’til 3 a.m., but I had fun. I find that since I’ve been living in the dorms, I like being around people a lot more than I used to. It gets so lonely in here sometimes. I study, I roam around the Internet, I go to class. I like going out with my floormates. They’re cool people, and we’re so cohesive.

I studied some on Sunday. My parents decided to just buy a tv and (gigantic!) refrigerator, since I had no idea when Joelle’s would be arriving. They brought them up on Sunday, then drove me to the bookstore, where I manged to snag the last copy of A Room of One’s Own. Then I think I studied more.

I left Astro lecture and raced over to Woods for Women’s Studies discussion. I was barely on time, though; I ran into one of the TAs in the elevator, and when I told her I was headed to her discussion, she said, “Yeah, I’m late, too.” I hate being late, and now I’m almost guaranteed to be late every Monday. Lovely.

My Astro TA is German. Her name is Franziska (I knew a Franziska in middle school), and she described the phases of the moon as “vaxing” and “vaning”. I love accents.

On Tuesday, I got up sort of early. I didn’t have class until 11, so I thought I’d do my laundry in the downtime. I’ve been misjudging time lately, especially walking times, so I wound up washing right after breakfast, then drying later in the day. Not what I planned, but my hamper was emptied either way.

My ARHU section met for the first time on Tuesday. We have a different teacher, an American Studies grad student. The colloquium is actually on American social issues and culture, focusing on television as a cultural medium. The main tv show studied provides that section’s nickname: the Buffy class. I’m dreading the screenwriting project, but I think I’ll be much more comfortable with that class’s discussion than I was last semester. One of our readings this semester is a paper written by the teacher. Tell me, how are we supposed to critically analyze and discuss the writing of the person who’s presenting it to us? How do you tell your teacher you fell asleep reading what he wrote? I don’t think that’ll happen, though; I glanced at the paper and it looks interesting. A quote: “If Buffy were black, she would be dead.”

After ARHU, I went to dinner with some of my lovely floormates. I had my first Astro lab that night. We met in the Computer and Space Sciences building, and we just did some graphing and calculations from a computer program. We had to plot the position of the sun, and the program gave it to us in degrees-minutes-seconds. Dori (who used to live on the floor above mine, and was in my ARHU section last semester) and her partner were really confused. They read the angle as three separate numbers. I said, “It’s not three numbers, it’s degrees-minutes-seconds. Am I the only one who knows this?” I meant it as an actual question. I learned d-m-s in trig when everyone else (including Dori, from what I understand) was taking calculus. For a skill from the “dumb class” to come in handy was surprising. I think she took it as, “What, are you just dumb?” Not good. And I didn’t get a chance to apologize. I still feel bad, but she may have forgotten. Next week, Astro lab will be at the university observatory, which is way off campus. Not walking distance. I either have to take the shuttle (which )isn’t terribly reliable, and which only runs about every 40 minutes), or snag a ride. I might try the shuttle this week and see if I can get a ride from someone in the class. Sara and Crazy Mike have cars, but I don’t want to ask them to go out of their way every week like that.

On Wednesday, the rush of work started to hit me. I came back after Astro lecture to try to get my reading done for later that day. I got through the poems, so that went fine. I was pretty much in the cold in Women’s Studies, though. Luckily, it was lecture. The professor talked a lot, and I offered an opinion on what I had read (always a good thing to do), so that went much better than I feared it would. I took Andrew with me to Sign Language Club. I don’t think he enjoyed it as much as I do (he’s more clueless than even I was), but it was nice to have company.

Yesterday, I got up early to study. Like Tuesday, it didn’t work out the way I planned. I did run into Iris and her neighbor at the Diner. (I’ve been eating with people a lot more lately. It’s much nicer.) I got to the books later than I wanted to, but I managed to finish the articles for English 202. I started dozing off toward the end of the denser one. In class, we got into groups. The people in my group were actually pretty cool. I’d had a moment of clarity earlier that day, so my definition of enlightenment went over well. I managed to speed-read the first half of A Room of One’s Own just before class, only to realize mid-class that it was fruitless. We only discussed it for a few minutes, then we watched a video of an actress giving an abridged version of the book/speech. Definitely wasted my time. It was a good book, though. I want to finish it, but with all my work, I don’t know if I’ll be able to.

Today, I got up for Astro lecture and got there in time to turn in my homework. We got the answers after lecture, and I think I screwed up a few of the problems, which sucks. They will drop the lowest score, though. I came back, then went to pick up my Honors seminar reading (still no books!), then ate lunch very quickly. I went to the Union to sit at the Sign Language Club table for a few hours. I like volunteering, especially when I don’t have to do much. The people with the drumming circle, Terpercussion, sounded like they were having fun. Sketchup, the sketch comedy group, was kind of funny but mostly crude. “Can you guess what Igor is? That’s right, he’s a fish-faced rapist!” The ballroom dancers looked best doing Latin dances. Right before I left, this martial arts-gymnastics group demonstrated. One of them had a spear. It was really cool to watch.

I came back to study, only to find Joelle fast asleep. I am so behind, I decided to just let her sleep and go to the study lounge. It was nice in there; most of the time it was just me. I went over two sets of notes, which is a decent chunk of the work on my to-do list.

Greg has stopped talking to me, maybe permanently this time. It was probably not a good idea to mention that he’d said at least three times before that he was going to stop talking to me. And he’s still supposed to buy my other Astro book.

I foresee a lot of studying this weekend. And sleeping. So tired.

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