- Do you remember your first crush? Did you tell them? I don’t think I remember the first one, but even before I saw this week’s F5 topic, I was thinking about some early ones. Fifth grade is the earliest I can remember: a Filipino boy named Rolando (maybe Ronaldo) and a blonde one named Ryan (I think). I have absolutely no idea what happened to them since then—consequences of being a military brat.
- Did you have a crush on a teacher? Which one? No, never, and I’m glad no student ever had one on me! I have had hours of training and reminders about not dating students, though.
- Do you still have crushes? Do you ever tell them? I do (or have, I suppose; no one currently). I told the last two, and it was disastrous both times. My roommate Maura told the first of those for me, which is not what I wanted, but at least I knew for sure that he wasn’t interested and I could move on. I told the last one myself, under less than ideal circumstances. Again, I was glad to be able to move on.
- What is your opinion of someone telling your crush object you have a crush? See the previous question. She thought she was being helpful, but I resented not being able to move on my own time (and his). I told her because I wanted advice, support, and maybe encouragement. I did not tell her because I wanted her to tell. Requesting that a friend act as a messenger is one thing; telling someone’s secrets is another thing.
- What does “having a crush” mean to you? Shouldn’t this question have come first, or at least second? To me, “having a crush” means having a distinct romantic attraction to someone who doesn’t know that you’re interested and hasn’t (or doesn’t) respond. Some crushes are the kind you never actually tell the other person about, but since that’s terrifically unproductive, the natural next step is to tell. Then it’s not a crush anymore; it’s being attracted to someone. If they’re not interested or already taken, you have to move on. Crush over.
Jun 30 2012