Monthly Archives: January, 2003

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Grr-ness. No time to blog lately. I get online, and get caught up in blog-hopping, IMing, and the occaisonal homework assignment. Rajni had this line at the end of her journal: “If I miss a day in writing, assume I died.” I could never claim that. Sure, I love blogging, but I have my priorities in some sort of order (not necessarily the right order, but there is order among the chaos.)

No one seems to be able to leave the “Greg and Lindsay” question alone. Listen, people, Greg is one of my closest friends. I put most of the guys I know into that awkward category between “casual acquaintance” and “friend”, but somehow Greg rocketed right to “friend” (or “guy-friend” as I think of it). I know he likes me. I just don’t feel that way about him, and it would be incredibly unfair to pretend I do for the sake of finding out what would happen. Our friendship is inexplicably strong: he insults me, I insult him right back (although his are usually better than mine… but I’m working on it!); he makes me laugh, I make him laugh (far less often); I spend eons online IMing him. I don’t understand it — I just know that I like it.

Mark and I are partners in our new Energy Systems project: battlebots. Not quite like the ones from the TV show; ours have to be much smaller and can’t have “destructive” spinning parts. My favorite design idea is a wedge: so simple, yet oh so effective. But no — Mark has to completely ignore the lovely KISS acronym (keep it simple, stupid) and try to make it all complicated. [Mark, I know you’re reading this, but this is what’s on my mind right now, so there. :P] [Don’t worry, Greg, there’s plenty left for you… ;)] [Other readers, disregard the previous statement. Trust me, you don’t want to know.] The drawing was originally do today, but Mr. Avondet pushed it to tomorrow, and we’ll probably be out for snow (yay-ness… sort of), so I should have the weekend to convince him to see my point.

In other school-related news… it’s almost the end of the quarter. That means tests, grades, reports/papers, and general stress. And then they wonder why we all turn out depressed, psychotic, angry, and tired…

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[This is actually yesterday’s entry, but Blogger wasn’t working right, so I’ll post it today. No time to blog now. More soon.]

::skids into blog:: ::realizes she’s imitating Greg:: ::is somewhat frightened::

At the moment, I am trying to figure out my Physics homework (note: not to understand it, just to get the right answers), start one of my essays for English, and IM Greg, Mark, and Paul — all at the same time. Such is the beauty of multi-tasking and fast typing. I think I have an idea for my essay now. It’s not as good as the HP-themed one Megan (or was it Stephanie — sorry, guys!) came up with on the bus the other morning. I won’t say what it was, cause it’s weird that I didn’t think of it first. I compare everything to books. It’s what I do — I’m the Library of Lindsay.

My dad is TDY in Texas this week. Not good. It’s not as bad as that time he went away for six weeks, but still. He’s essential to our family… harmony. You know what I mean? He picks me up from It’s Academic when he’s not working, he unloads the dishwasher, sometimes he does my laundry for me, he falls asleep in his recliner watching sports… typical Dad stuff. And when he’s gone, my mom is always more stressed out than usual, which means she’ll take it out on us, which is very not good. We’ll survive, but it won’t be pretty.

Mr. T. was out today. Some unexplained emergency (at least, I assume so, cause I heard he didn’t even leave sub work). Also not good, because It’s Ac. was supposed to meet today. We could use some more practice before Saturday. Bleh. I am so not looking forward to that. Being in front of people makes me nervous and shaky and I sweat more than usual, which is not fun. And then there’s the fear that I’ll blank, which is beyond not good. This is also squashing (well, not quite squashing… maybe smudging?) my hopes for competing on Jeopardy. Been practicing for years. No one ever wants to watch with me, cause I answer so fast. All these years of reading have made my mind and eyes much quicker than the rest of my family’s. What can I say? C’est moi.

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Ah, back to the wonderful thing that is blogging. =) I’m not sure where to start, cause I have to make up for the past four days, so I’ll just wing it.

Here’s a coincidence: Rajni signs my guestbook out of the blue, and I realize I almost never see her. The next day, she shows up in lunch. (Mine is second, which kind of sucks, cause almost everyone is switching to fourth period lunch next semester. :P)

Then, of course, school sneaked up and smacked me in the face. The only consolation was that I wasn’t the only one who felt like that. We had computer time in English on Tuesday, to research colleges for our project. It was rather hard to get any actual work done, though, because Megan was on one side, Stephanie was on the other, and Greg was directly behiind me (which would make any sane person kind of nervous…). She warned us that it would be due on Friday, which suddenly make me think, “I’m going to wind up cramming it all into one day. Not good.” Sure enough, I did the whole thing last night. I finished around 11:45, and I think it was actually decent. Everything seemed coherent when I reread it this morning, just before handing it in (Ms. Anderson always make us do that), but I was a bit sleep-deprived, so I’m hoping for a somewhere in the mid-B range (at the lowest).

Physics is getting ugly again. Dr. J covered Chapter 13 on Tuesday, 14 on Wednesday and Thursday, and 15 today. So now we have three sets of homework (like, 16 problems total) to do. That wouldn’t normally be so bad, if it wasn’t physics, and if Dr. J hadn’t announced that he’s going to grade random homework problems as part of our next test grade. That also means the absence of Dr. J’s Handy-Dandy Homework Book. The existence of the Homework Book surprised me at first (there’s probably a blog about it, if anyone cares to look for it). I have never had a teacher like Dr. J before: one who lets us make up anything, anytime; one who works out the headache-causing homework so people can copy it (or people like me can fill in the holes every now and then); one who gives us all the formulas we could possibly need on tests; one who makes up practice tests that are so much like the real test, it’s scary. Not that I don’t like Dr. J — he’s great. But it’s like Takiyah (I probably misspelled that) was saying today, he’d probably do better as a college professor. He has, like, 5 degrees, including a Ph.D. in Physics, so he’s definitely qualified.

We tape for It’s Academic next Saturday. Part of me is absolutely terrified. Part is pretty confident. The rest is just hoping I don’t do something I’ll regret later. Whenever I have to do something that requires skill or talent for an audience, I get nervous. Well, I don’t always feel nervous, but I shake — fairly violently and completely involuntarily. That can be supremely annoying, especially when I’m trying to play piano at a recital. As long as Mark can control his trigger-happy instincts, we should do fine.

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I have wasted this entire day. That sucks. I mean, sure, it’s a snow day (mini-w00t!), but I really wanted to get something accomplished today. I should be praticing piano and researching for my English project, but the Internet is just too… huge. Reminds me of that Verizon DSL commercial. This guy is online, just clicking away at every link and pop-up he can find. Then, this black window opens and the computer voice says, “You have reached the end of the Internet. Please go back. Now.” I get so caught up in IMing and blog-hopping that I almost always forget whatever it was that I planned to do when I got online in the first place. Grr-ness.

Rajni signed my guestbook! I feel so special. I almost never see her around school, even though I know who she is. I just realized that a whole lot of us (“us” meaning people I associate with at school) have blogs, web sites, and LJs. Most people had them long before I did, but it seems like they’re everywhere now. I spend so much time blog-hopping that should be spent on other things, but I can’t help it. You can learn so much about people by reading their blogs. And they’re handy for (how shall I put this?) telling people things without actually saying them. (Like me and Mark… and, to a lesser extent, me and Greg…) I love blogs and blogging. ::contented sigh::

Nothing interesting has happened lately. Though, I was reading in the Washington Post yesterday (okay, so it was the comics) about spam and web-crawlers, and it made me think. I used to never get spam, but since this whole explosion of blogs, I get it now and then. It’s not so much that I can’t handle it, but still… I’m going to throw a “remove” into the email link up there. You all know it by now, so it shouldn’t matter but just so you know: Take the “remove” out for my real email address. Adding it just bounces spam back to the spammers that use web-crawlers, helping to make everyone’s lives less… spammy.

One last note: Megan changed her layout again, but it’s the same one that Greg and Mark use! I got mine from BlogSkins — anyone who’s looking should check it out. [Megan, make sure you hit the “save changes” button when you change the template. Also, you should get a template that doesn’t list the archives all on the main page. It looks too cluttered.] Okay, must dash and attempt to get something done before 7th Heaven and Everwood come on. Ttfn.

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Not much time to blog. I have done absolutely nothing of substance today, and my physics grade is far from where I want it to be, so I should go soon. #3 is going to be harder than I thought…

Yesterday morning, my faucet exploded. No, really! I was minding my own business, getting ready for school, same thing I do every morning. I turn the tap for the cold water at my bathroom sink, and the [part you turn] comes off in my hand, and water starts shooting up in the air!!! It was all still pressurized, so it went pretty high. I wasn’t wearing my glasses at the time, so I couldn’t really see. All I knew was that there was water everywhere. So, my panic response kicks in, and I run out of the bathroom and upstairs to get my dad. I am beyond glad that he had the day off. He turned out to be downstairs already, so he shut off the water.

How was I supposed to know what those things under the sink are for? Turns out that the shutoff valves are right there. How can anyone expect me to think at a time like that? So anyway, I finished getting ready upstairs, and managed to dry my hair enough to mostly salvage it. Sure, my hair needed washing (did it this morning — took forever, as always), but I didn’t mean like that! I was already running late, and fighting with my soggy hair only made matters worse.

::sighs:: Why me? On the bright side, I have a shiny new faucet on my sink, and my bathroom rugs got washed. Somehow, that doesn’t seem to make up for it. I’m still nervous every time I turn on the cold water. ::glares at reader:: Quit laughing! It was not funny! Okay, maybe it was a little funny, but still…

Hope has a new layout (at least since the last time I saw it), and a new guestbook. Same host as mine, but hers is cooler. I love blogs, and blogging, and blog-hopping. Case in point: the recently extended blog section of my linkage over there.

Okay, gotta run. Must do ::sigh:: homework. Ttfn. =)

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I made another resolution this morning. Sort of a spur-of-the-moment thing, and one I know will make Ricky very happy. (Not that I’m really concerned with Ricky’s opinion of my resolutions…) [Mykella, you can’t steal my resolutions, but you can borrow them if you like. I used Megan’s as a springboard for mine. We’re just one big happy resolution-sharing family. =)]

9.) I resolve to stop hitting, slapping, or otherwise attacking people. No matter how much they annoy me. It’s terribly rude, and turning into a really bad habit. And I think some of them actually enjoy it.

Right before I got in bed last night, after I finished praying (#2), I was thinking about my journal. Not this one (this is a blog, i.e. public), but my personal journal that no one ever sees. I went back and read through some of it, looking at the things I wrote ages ago. I found out a lot about myself through my journal, and it was always there to listen when I needed to vent. I think everyone should make a resolution to go on a… a self-discovery trip this year. Especially people like myself, who have come to realize that you have to know yourself before you can really to know other people.

Today was not an exceptionally fun day. In third period, I was talking to Paul and Ricky (I know, I know — that was just asking for trouble) about my relationships… or lack thereof. Mark was laughing across the room, carefully staying away from the actual conversation. Then someone (I will not say his name, hoping that I will forget it — he doesn’t deserve any space in my memory) jumps into the conversation right when it turns to Greg. He Who Must Not Be Named (no, not that one) then proceeds to yell loudly enough for the whole class to hear “Lindsay loves Greg Crowe!” That was so wrong. I do not love Greg. Greg is my friend — that’s all. But did that stop him? Noooooooooooo. ::launches into tirade about the defecits of the male of the species::

::ends tirade::

Okay. I managed to get through that class, and get my motor graded. We were making electric motors — from scratch. I even drilled the holes in the metal for the field frame. I got a 94, and it runs on 5 volts (which is pretty good). Yay me!!!

Then was fifth period, architectural graphics. Mr. Lifsey is such an incompetent teacher. Really. He doesn’t even really know how to work the computer program we’re using. Once he figures it out and shows me (or, more likely, I figure it out and show him), I show the rest of the class how to do it. It’s like I’m the teacher, only I don’t get paid. I should be getting student aide credit for his class! I spend the entire time running around the classroom, giving people photocopies of the drawing, fixing their computers, answering a zillion questions, doing my own work, and yelling at people cause the whole process gets on my nerves. He Who Must Not Be Named (again, the one from school) is in that class, too, and he couldn’t keep his mouth shut there, either. Why are people so impossible to deal with sometimes? Grr!

But it was generally an okay day. =)

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Happy New Year!!! Welcome to 2003!!!

I read Mykella’s blog yesterday — good stuff. And I found out Alanna’s on Blog*Spot. Both of them remind me a lot of myself. Maybe it’s just the writing. Ladies, we have skills. =)

If you didn’t read Greg’s blog already, go do it. Otherwise you won’t know the whole story. That link will take you directly to yesterday’s blog (which I don’t think has any profanity, just so you know).

Okay. My turn. ::takes deep breath:: Greg is one of my best friends. I’m really not sure how that happened, because I’ve never had a guy friend before, period. But I know that Greg is my friend, and I that I cherish our friendship. I suspected long ago that he might have feelings for me beyond platonic-ness, but he denied it, and I understood. Then, he was one of the bigger factors in my relationship with Mark. When he had that dream, he knew we were having problems. It’s entirely possible that his subconscious is not telling him to go after me, but… if he interprets it that way, who am I to say differently?

My life is fast becoming a movie. I’ve read all the stories about people who were afraid to pursue relationships with a friend, once they realized they wanted more than just friendship. They were afraid because, although friendship has to be part of the foundation of a good relationship, once you’re “together”, it’s hard to go back to being “just friends”. I don’t want to lose Greg’s friendship. I like being his friend. I’m not sure yet if I want to take the chance of being his girlfriend, but… we’ll see.

Finished Dr. J’s take-home test. It wasn’t as hard as I thought it might be. There were only four problems that I didn’t understand. Grr. School tomorrow. Why can’t we just have the rest of the week off as well? But I’ll get to see everyone again — that’s always a plus.

Finally finished omega-ing for Greg. Chapter 4 of “The Fall of a Dark Lord” is up here. Or, if you haven’t read it yet (shame on you!), check under “Linkage” for the beginning. The formatting is a little off, but the story is all there.

I always make New Year’s resolutions, and then I always forget what they are. Makes them very hard to keep. But after reading Megan’s list, I felt like I should give it another go.

1.) I resolve to be more social. I’ve been working on this one lately. My mom acts like it bothers her that I want to go out on weekends sometimes, but she really doesn’t mind.
2.) I resolve to be more spiritual. I usually resolve to read the Bible, but I haven’t done it yet, and I used to actually have the time to do it. I think this one is more attainable. I also need to go back to church.
3.) I resolve to work harder when it comes to school. I work pretty hard already, but when I realize how much time I spend online, it makes me think that maybe I could be doing something more “constructive”, as my mom puts it. Yes, I actually listen when she lectures me. Sometimes.
4.) I resolve not to take so much “me” time. I take enough as is, writing in this blog. And sometimes I think I’m taking “me” time, when what I’m really doing is avoiding real life. Not good.
5.) I resolve to volunteer more. I’m almost finished with my community service hours for school, but after doing them, I realized that I enjoy helping people. That warm fuzzy feeling is very comforting.
6.) I resolve to try to give my family a bigger slice of my Life Pie. Courtney’s almost 11 now. I remember what it was like to be that age, and I want to be there for her if she ever needs to talk. Being a big sister is not easy. And I usually hate family gatherings, but they’re really not so bad. I played Uno Attack with my mom, my grandma, and the Rugrats on Tuesday, and it was actually fun.
7.) I resolve to take my time with relationships. Boys are confusing. After what happened with Mark, I’m a little wary of jumping into another relationship. (Alanna, I think I know how you feel.) The boy slice of my Life Pie has always been rather thin, and I’m not sure I want to take away from any of the other slices to add to it. We’ll see…
8.) I resolve not to take things for granted. My life has been fairly sheltered so far. Living overseas all those years kept me distanced from many of the things that are now a part of my life. Like the Sniper. I’ve never been so close to something so terrible, and I hope to never go through that again. It’s like I’ve been wearing rose-colored glasses (partly by choice), but now they’re getting more and more clear.

I think that’s it for now. Gotta go, must attempt to be rested for school in the morning. Ciao. =)

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