Monthly Archives: January, 2004


Another snow day. I watched My Big Fat Greek Wedding — again — before returning to Wal-Mart. I had the pictures I needed for my RP paper developed and put on photo CD yesterday. When I got home, I had to put the CD in the other computer because the CD drive’s out on this one again. There were no pictures. All the software to view the pictures was there, but the pictures themselves were nowhere to be found. I hunted for the folders that were supposed to be there. Nothing. When we went back last night, the photo center was closed, even though the cashier said it doesn’t usually close until 9, and we were there around 8:30.

So we went back today. Imagine my shock when the lady at the photo lab pulled up my pictures on the printer thing in the store. I came home, and sure enough, they were all there.

I swear up and down that I’m not crazy, but incidents that like seriously make me wonder.

So I added the pictures to my paper and added it to the copies I printed early this morning. I believed Murphy’s law would open school today. My chapter’s still crap, but it’s ready-for-turn-in crap. I also watched How to Deal and all the special features. Who knew Trent Ford was half British, accent and all? He drops it seamlessly, really.

Megan, thank you so much for what you said in the guestbook. Knowing that someone still has faith in me (despite my recent disposition and feelings of wanting to give up) really helps.


Snow day. Everything was so white and gorgeous last night. I had a feeling school would be canceled, but Murphy’s Law is catching up with me this year, so I still woke up with my alarm to check the broadcast news. It took forever for me to see the first announcement for our county. I was waiting for a second (double-checking never hurts!) when my mom came down and told me we were closed. I figured, if we were both mistaken, at least I’d have some kind of excuse.

I rolled out of bed around 9:35 — early for one of my sleep-in days. I watched Just Married on HBO. Not a bad movie. I refuse to believe that much could possibly go wrong on anyone’s honeymoon. It was funny, though. I felt terrible when the dog jumped out the window. That was so wrong. He couldn’t have thrown the ball the other way?

After I got dressed, my dad took me to Wal-Mart to drop off my pictures for RP. His Trailblazer has all-wheel drive. I came home and sat around for a while reading Seventeen. We picked up my mom from the Metro, then went back for my pictures. They pretty much suck, but then again, I’ve never been good with a camera, and it was disposable.

Right now, I’m hoping that (a) I come up with something halfway decent for RP, (b) I can print it, which is much more complicated than you might think, and (c) I get it done tonight, since it’s due tomorrow and I haven’t started yet. My project sucks, it really does. I had a better idea last year. It so would have been better for this year. I might not have found a mentor in time (haven’t emailed to her in weeks), but I would have had a decent project.

I want to just make stuff up, I really do. If I stick with my principles and stay honest, I’m not going to get as good a grade as the people who fake it all. I hate that. Chapter Four will probably be our biggest RP grade for third quarter, so I can’t really afford to flop on it. I refuse to let this class ruin me. It’s already stressed me out more than anything else. I really hate science. Let someone else cure cancer.

Also, my mom was really patronizing on the phone with me earlier. Nothing I do is ever good enough for her. I wish I didn’t need her so much, so being angry at her could actually make something happen.

In case you couldn’t tell, I’m in a sucky mood today. I have been for the past week or so. Rajni and I could start a club. A small club.

The Friday Five I missed last week: The Moment.

At this moment, what is your favorite…

1. …song? After listening to the radio all day Saturday, I’m kind of tired of all music.

2. …food? Chips. I am addicted to chips like nothing. I can eat three different kind of chips in a single day without even realizing it. We have pretzels at the moment, though. I should probably switch to pretzels and Ritz and Club crackers and Goldfish. All the crunch with way less fat. I think.

3. …tv show? Jeopardy!, of course. And ER is awesome lately.

4. …scent? I’m loving this Cotton Blossom body spray from Bath and Body Works I got as a gift. And the smell of winter is incredible. (Yeah, yeah, I’m weird and I’m proud.)

5. …quote? “The heart knows reasons that reason does not know.” — Blaise Pascal, an old favorite


My gosh. I haven’t blogged in a week. This is worse than when I went to MLW in August. I had a reason for not blogging then. Not that I don’t have a reason now, but…. Yeah.

No school on Monday. To the best of my memory (which is so-so at best), I stayed home. On Tuesday, I stayed after school for an NHS pizza sale. I was adding up my points last night. I seriously doubt that anyone’s going to get near 100 points unless they lie. Working with just Chinyere made me think. There area always six or seven people signed up for each pizza sale. I’ve only done two, but both times there was only one member besides myself. The first time, Damitra dropped by and mentioned that she usually goes down to see who’s actually working. That’s sort of reassuring, since she’s the secretary and it’s her job to keep track of points… but she didn’t show up on Tuesday. If you don’t earn the points, you shouldn’t get them. End of story. It was also very, very cold when Chinyere and I took the pizza boxes out to the dumpster.

On Wednesday morning, I had my PreCal cumulative test. I refuse to call it a midterm because that might give all the other teachers ideas. I knew I didn’t do well on it. I had to go back after school to finish it up, consequently skipping It’s Ac, but I still got a C. Not cool. I also got my Adkins paper back. I got a 97 (I think), which actually pulled my grade up to a 91. In light of the pattern school is making this year, I don’t think I’ll have time for a video project until fourth quarter. I don’t even know if I want to do a video. (Sorry, Megan.) Though it would be funny to have a group consisting of me and a bunch of Adkins vets (aka Megan, Stephanie, and anyone else who wants to join). I went out after school to get some supplies for my RP project, then actually had time to watch Angel and Smallville while I did my homework.

I got my PreCal grade on Thursday. Despite my crappy non-midterm score, I still had an A. We watched a video in AP US History on the Vanderbilts. They are one crazy family, and we didn’t even get to Gloria yet. I stayed after school to judge the sophomore science fair. I almost forgot to check in with Ms. Comerford and claim vital RP points (!). I saw Grace’s project — it was fabulous. She’s in my Geology class. She went to a shooting range with her dad and shot modified bullets into a block of clay, then examined the pattern the bullet took. She compared it to the way it might travel through a suspect shot by the police. It was beautiful. I was jealous, but not so much that I didn’t shower her with points. I gave Danelle a ride home afterwards, then went out again for RP supplies.

On Friday, my mom and I went to UMBC. We met with the director of the chemical engineering department. She was really nice and so happy and optimistic. My mom said she made her want to be an engineer. (You have to understand, my mom was once a photographer and now is a secretary. She can sew, but an engineer she is not.) I don’t think my parents (specifically Mom) can understand that I don’t want to be an engineer. I like making things. I like it even more when my things work the way they’re supposed to. It’s just not calling me, you know? Using a drill press to make a power supply will never gave me the same positive feeling that deciphering literature does. I’m an artsy person. I’m not into science, and I’m not that good at math. I can’t help but feel that I belong with books, with words. My family would rather see me clinically depressed and suicidal, but Vanderbilt rich, than deliriously happy, but only as well-off as they are. It makes things that much more difficult.

After visiting Dr. Bayles, we went to a standard info session (the presenter quoted Pirates of the Caribbean!), then took a tour. It was colder than cold out, but we got to go inside the buildings, so it was bearable. The UMBC campus is really small and centralized. They’re primarily a science school, which sucks, and 55% of the students commute, which means it’s pretty much dead on weekends). Campus was still dead on Friday; spring semester doesn’t start until Tuesday. I checked with the Admissions desk to see if they’d made a decision on my application. The receptionist told me they had. Either she’s just a naturally smiley person, or I got in. I should get my letter this week (since Rajni got hers yesterday — congratulations!). Which reminds me, I got an acceptance letter from University of Pittsburgh last week.

After UMBC, we ate lunch at Subway in the shopping center where I used to work. The gym’s 24-hours now. Tell me, do people actually want to exercise at 3am? The woman in front of us in line was being really difficult. Based on my first opinion, I would categorize her as a Loud Black Person. There’s a lot of those at school. We went by Target, where I got the last things I needed for my project, so I came home and got started.

I spent all day Saturday working on my project. I heard so much music from the radio that I wanted to smash it, and I managed to dye the kitchen counter yellow, and get blue under my nails. I washed the counter and my hands, so all was good. My skin was so dry last night, though, from being in the water so much. Dry winter air is bad enough, even though I wear gloves.

Today, I finished my project. Finally. It sucks, it really does, but it’s basically done. At least, I hope so. I took a long break, knowing I’d be done earlier than last night. Ryan’s birthday is tomorrow, but he had a pool party today at Allentown. I took the goodie bags, ate some chips, cake, and ice cream, hung out for a while, then came home to go back to my project. He seemed happy, which is good. At his age (eight tomorrow), his biggest problem is getting yelled at by my mom for not cleaning up his room. He’s getting spoiled by my giving him a ride to the bus stop when I drive. I can’t blame him, though.

Friday night, I went to bed at 11:30, totally exhausted after being up and exerted all day. Around midnight, I woke up, hearing this weird noise. I finally realized it was my cell phone ringing. It stopped, so I went back to sleep. Then it started up again, so I shoved off my heavy blankets to answer it. It was Greg (which you had to have known by now — who else would it be?). I hadn’t talked to him all day, so he was worried. I replied, “Greg, if I died, I’m sure someone would call you.” It’s the truth. We talked for about half an hour. I’ve thought before that I was half asleep while doing something, but that time, I was really half asleep.

Hope is back to blogging, with a spiffy new layout to boot. I like the fade-to-red thing for the background color. Also, I Googled and found this site, which had adorable Finding Nemo wallpaper. The Internet is a wonderful thing.

And now, after a weekend of working like mad to come up with something for RP, I am going to eat and relax. It’s supposed to snow something terrible tonight, so there’s also a glimmer of a snow day. You know how I feel about snow days.


Yesterday, I did… Shoot, what did I do? I started my FAFSA Pre-Application Worksheet and applied for my parents’ PINs. I have great confidence in online applications. They’re faster, you get instant confirmation, and you’re less likely to make mistakes, or let someone else make mistakes because they can’t read your writing properly. That worksheet led to, like, an hour on the IRS website. Apparently, I can’t claim myself as a dependent because my parents can claim me as a dependent. That makes sense; we can’t both be exempt for my existence. There’s only one of me. Then I made a list of materials for my RP project (haven’t started yet :x)

Later, Mom took us all to the mall. It was hailing, so my hair got sort of wet. I hate having wet hair because it smells weird. Not like wet dog, but the same sort of negativeness. I’ve been looking for some black earrings to match this cute necklace I have, but I couldn’t find one. The setting has to be black, not just the decoration. I got a $5 Valentine’s Day shirt in Old Navy, along with this cute black skirt. Now, I don’t wear short skirts. Ever. I don’t even really like wearing shorts. But Greg and my anniversary (!) is right around Valentine’s Day, so we’re going out to celebrate. I wanted something new and cute. And he asked me to. I mean, I’m seventeen. I’m allowed to be insane. And it’s cute!

I was in Kohl’s when my mom came looking for me. I had been trying on more skirts. (The beauty of the “return with original receipt”.) My mom looked confused (and rightfully so), so I told her I was shopping for V-Day. Then she effectively ruined my night. I’d forgotten she’d made plans. Smokey Robinson is in Atlantic City on V-Day, so they’re going away for the weekend. (Smokey is to my mom like *NSync is to me. Ooh, SAT analogies in real life! I’m such a nerd.) She did mention that I might be able to go out anyway. The rugrats can watch each other. (That is, Courtney can lock the doors and such, and Ryan can make sure she does it.) Though, she also said something about us coming back here to watch movies, which is curious. She’d never let us stay here unsupervised. The rugrats don’t count. I’m confused, but I’ll work it out eventually. She also doesn’t think I should wear a short skirt in the winter. Yes, mommie dearest, I’m aware that it’ll still be cold. She had no qualms about my calf-length homecoming dress. I didn’t mention that I had the Old Navy skirt, but I’m still going to wear it. It says, “I have confidence in my long, slightly scarred legs!” Whoo, confidence!

Today, we went to see Augie. You know, that relative of mine that lives in Bethesda, the one that gives me major Borders gift cards? Yeah. I dozed off on the way there. I got some really cute silver earrings (I usually don’t wear the jewelry she gives me), lots of Bath and Body Works body spray (smells yummy), another gift card (there are no words), and cash for clothes. She’d been drinking, so she was a little… off. Mom hooked up her DVD/VCR (like mine), even though the VCR door was broken off. It worked, so she still wanted to use it. I would’ve sent it back to QVC.

So we came home, and I watched the “Making of” for Bend It Like Beckham. Sims, am I right in thinking Jonathan Rhys-Meyers is something like the Brad Pitt of the UK? He’s got nice eyes.

I’m leaving shortly. Greg invited me to watch a movie at his house this time, so I’m picking him up from work. He’s not off until 7, but he says it’s dead in the store, so I might as well go early.

Hope, when are you starting your blog again? I have you linked and everything in anticipation. :)


Whoo. I survived another week. I didn’t have to drag myself through it like I have in the past, but it wasn’t easy.

I studied for Adkins, but not as much as I should have. I got an 82 on the test, which is about average for me. There was that one C, but I was having a really bad day, and I still managed an A for the quarter. Now that I think about it, if my paper turned out okay, I think I can still hold onto this quarter’s possible-and-looking-more-and-more-likely A. My paper didn’t take as long as I thought to finish. It was only 13 1/2 pages (the minimum’s 12), but my other papers were 14 or so. I know people turn in 20+ pages, but I always doubt the content of those. That says “copy and paste” to me.

We had a DBQ today. I’m pretty sure mine was crap. The beginning was okay, the end was okay, but the middle was a mess. I was just not feeling it. I didn’t know what to write. Moments like that make me think. I have to decide soon whether I want to take the AP test in May. Right now, I’m thinking no. I’m just not good at remembering all this historical stuff, especially the uninteresting parts. I mean, I love the French revolution, but I get those dates mixed up just the same. I’ll give it more thought before I make my final decision though. Also, I know Stephanie (or was it Megan?) gave her Barron’s book to Connie, but I know there are other Adkins vets out there who still have them. Let me know if you’re willing to donate or sell yours to me if I take the test.

I didn’t study for my math test, but it was easy. I got a 99 — self esteem booster! On the down side of math, we have a cumulative test Wednesday, meaning I have to relearn those stupid trig identities and such. And I got a nasty papercut on my middle finger, right up near the nail. It still hurts a little now, but it’s stopped randomly bleeding on me.

Seeing my finger bleed instantly and feeling the pain reminded me of my grandmother. She had diabetes. I stayed with her before and after school when I was little, so I’d be around in the mornings when she checked her glucose levels. It was so scary watching her prick her finger and squeeze a single drop of blood onto the testing strip. I remember how she grimaced, and I felt sorry for her. I also hoped that I’d never have to do that. I’m lucky that my finger pain just came from a papercut that will heal in a few days. Hers was a several-times-daily thing for the majority of her life. I miss her. I can never play bingo without thinking of her.

NHS meetings are so pointless. We don’t do anything! Besides pizza sales, the Christmas party, and the gift-giving thing for Damitra’s church (which was substantial and lovely), we basically just have meetings and go to tutoring that no one shows up for. I usually use the time to do discussion points. If I already did mine, I just read and try to ignore the random black people making noise in Mr. Belanger’s room. I don’t mean to sound racist (especially in the wake of Dr. King’s birthday), but “random black people” is the best term I can think of. I’m sure random white people can be just as loud and obnoxious, but Oxon Hill has too few white people for them to be random.

It’s Ac yesterday was better than our usual Thursday meetings. About four of our regulars are in International Club as well, so they go to that meeting first and we start without them. I read, which threw off the balance of skill, but it was cool. I’ve only read once before, I think. They played boys vs. girls. Greg insisted on calling the boys the “Scions of Sexy” (something to do with Magic) and the girls the “female canines.” Apparently Ian read on Wednesday, and he labeled the score sheet “dudes” and “b—-es”, so he was “keeping the tradition.” Boys. The final score was pretty close considering the players.

We read a poem in AP Lit today, “Goblin Market”, by Christina Rosetti. Whoa. I have never read anything with more obvious sexual themes. It was a really long poem, too. We all read it, then broke into groups to analyze it from different perspectives. I had the “feminist” group, and we actually drew some good conclusions. As I was reading, I picked up on the sexual underovertones immediately, but I was able to keep from judging it right away. There’s more to it than that. It was originally a children’s poem, and if you read it with the innocence and naivete of a child, it’s just a fairy tale. Once you pass from innocence to compassion (“Marigolds,” anyone?), it’s all about the goblin fruits. (Read it if you’re curious.)

I stayed after school to be a test subject for Elizabeth’s RP project. There were a bunch of people there. I got to talk to Megan and Stephanie again, which is always nice, because I see them so rarely despite our lack of distance. Then I came home and watched tv. I can’t really afford to laze around like that, but sometimes I just need a break, you know?

Friday Five: Last Words

1. What does it say in the signature line of your emails? I don’t have one. I’ve thought about making one, but my emails are long enough as is.

2. Did you have a senior quote in your high school yearbook? What was it? If you haven’t graduated yet, what would you like your quote to be? Do we get yearbook quotes? I don’t think I saw them in last year’s yearbook. My eighth grade quote (oh, the nostalgia!) was “Friends are like money: easier made than kept.”

3. If you had vanity plates on your car, what would they read? If you already have them, what do they say? Well, my name has 7 letters, so that would work. Otherwise, something Harry Potter, just to catch fans’ eyes, like “HRMIONE” or “DMBLDOR” or “WEASLEY”.

4. Have you received any gifts with messages engraved upon them? What did the inscription say? I used to have ID bracelets (with my name), but I don’t wear bracelets, so I may have thrown them away. :x When you move a lot, you get a sense of what’s really not worth keeping.

5. What would you like your epitaph to be? That’s a morbid thought. Something simple, like “Wife, mother (if applicable), daughter, sister, friend.”


I didn’t get a chance to blog yesterday because I had so much stuff to do. Greg and I touched up our AP Lit project on Sunday night, but his printer’s ink was low, so the articles were hard to read. Yesterday morning, I had this epiphany in the shower (weird, I know) that he could email the text to me so I could print it. (We used WordPerfect for the original, and my computer couldn’t convert it. Besides, the file was enormous.) He did, and I dashed out the door at 9:10 after snatching the last sheet from the printer tray. Of course, I was late to school, but we turned the project in on time, and she can read all the articles and give us a fair grade now.

During It’s Ac yesterday, Steven read the questions because Mr. T was busy with students. He mispronounced words like mad, so Greg took over after a page or two. He and Ian were doing their usual insulting, rude banter thing, which always drives me crazy. I do not understand male friendships now, and I don’t think I ever will. If any of my friends insulted me the way they do, jokingly or not, I’d be seriously hurt. Anyway, some of the things I said and things he said built up, and then he accidentally ran into me in the parking lot and knocked me down. I was upset, and he was upset that I was upset, but I refuse to let things stew, so we talked it out before I came home. Driving makes using my time much more efficient.

Back to the bus this morning, ugh. It was on time, though, which caught me off guard. I was only about five minutes late to class.

I still cringe at some of Mr. Witko’s mannerisms, but I can let them slide. Back when we did the SAT video, I missed his class, so I skipped (as in, didn’t do, not as in dodged class) a vocabulary quiz the next day. I forgot to make it up until just before Christmas break. Last week, I realized I was only half done, but he told me to turn it in anyway, and I got full credit. If I was ever going to skip a class (which I’ve never done without good reason — no lies for make-up work for Lindsay), it’d be his. Chris M. skips at least once a week, and Mr. Witko never mentions it as long as he does the work (which, come to think of it, he doesn’t).

I spaced out again in Adkins. It’s not the material, it’s the circumstances. That’s about midway through the day, but it’s closer to departure than arrival. I’m always tired, anyway, so listening to Mr. Adkins lecture for over an hour doesn’t help keep me awake. The break helps. Videos (like the one we had today) don’t. I have a test tomorrow, all multiple-choice. If I manage an A or a high B and do well on my paper (which I’m in the process of writing :x), I think I can hold onto my 90. If not, a B is still fine. I just wish I didn’t have to review six elections tonight. And they’re the second batch of forgettable presidents, too, Grant through Benjamin Harrison. AP US History is helping me on Jeopardy!, though.

Congratulations to Megan, Stephanie, and Hope for winning their last swim meet! I still owe you guys a meet, remember? Pick one where you think you’ll do well, and I’ll come watch. Assuming I can handle any highways, that is.

I wonder if there is a limit to creating new melodies and beats. Will people just run out of new song ideas one day? Not in terms of lyrics, but the musicality aspect. Hmm.

Rajni posted that in her blog. There are only seven basic tones, and only so many octaves in which humans can hear. Within that range, there are infinitely many possibilities for melodies, especially when you consider the rhythm factor. People have been creative since… forever…, so if they ever mathematically “ran out” of songs, I have hope that someone would find a solution to make more. Very cool idea to ponder.

I have an NHS meeting before school, a math test first period, an Adkins test fifth and sixth period, and two chapters to read for AP Lit. Not to mention the PowerPoint presentation I have to start Thursday in class for Geology, RP Chapter Four, and my Adkins paper.

On the less negative side, I only have one reply from my colleges: Penn State, which was acceptance. I just got a receipt postcard from UMBC, which means all my applications are in. Now, for the waiting. And scholarships. Ugh, more essays.


Friday, it snowed. Not a lot, but enough to cause ice, snow, and bitter cold. I don’t usually have activites on Friday, so I was resigned to bundling up and waiting at the bus stop. I waited until about 9:27, at which time I called my mom and told her I was just going to drive. My parents and I were all wary about my running across ice. Since I was already late, though, I was in no rush, so I went slow. It helped that everyone else was driving slow, too, because you’re supposed to keep up with the flow of traffic no matter what the conditions. You can be ticketed for driving too slowly, too. I got to school around 10am, quite disgruntled, almost frozen, and tired from lack of sleep. I could have used a two-hour delay — hello, naptime.

School was okay. We had a pop quiz in Adkins. I think I did okay on it. I was blanking on part of the second question. I stared up at the ceiling, trying to visualize my notes, and it worked! I had this sudden epiphany about… uh, I think it was the changes the Republicans made after Grant was elected in 1872. Or maybe it was 68 (but the year wasn’t part of the answer, so I’m good). Anyway, I worded some things wrong, but that’s better than nothing.

Ms. Sim let us have the second half of AP Lit to ourselves. Greg and Ian played Magic; I sat on the windowsill/shelf with Sarah and sang random songs. You know, I think part of my conflict with Ian is astrological. He thinks astrology as a whole is nonsense, but I believe in astro profiling. He’s a Virgo, too. I firmly believe that Mark and I didn’t work because we’re too alike in our Virgoness. I may have that same problem with Ian… among other issues. I’m back to tolerating him, though.

I was all set to watch TRL and do some homework after school, but Greg called. He’d forgotten he had the day off, so I went over to work on our AP Lit project. He had to run some errands and such, so we didn’t get as much done as I’d hoped, but something’s better than nothing. (Did I already say that?)

Yesterday, I went back to Greg’s house to finish up the project. It was absolutely frigid. Two seconds outside, and I was ready to go back in. It may have been 25 degrees (!), but it felt like 12. We got started late (more errands), but we were relatively productive. His computer started lagging toward the end (probably because we had so many pictures and about five windows open). We’re a bit short, though, and his printer’s low on ink, so I may have to have him email me the article text and print it here. I still feel like we need another article or so. To satiate your curiosity, I did do most of the writing, but it was cooperative. Ms. Sim thinks that Greg has the passion and originality, and I have the sophistication and refinement, so together, we should have a stellar project. I hope so.

I haven’t done much today. I’ve decided that vented brushes are excellent hair-straightening tools. I even did something midly political by reading the Mini Page about the elections this year, what with my becoming a potential voter this year.

In the random coincidences department, I sang Switchfoot songs to myself yesterday while Greg and I were working. When we finally went downstairs for pizza, the video for “Meant to Live” was on MTV2! Never heard of Switchfoot? Neither had I, until A Walk to Remember. It’s good music, Christian rock, but the religious undertones aren’t glaring. Something like Stacie Orrico.

A short blog-public service announcement: When you leave a room, turn off any lights or electronic devices that are still on. It won’t hurt you to turn them back on when you return. You’ll save money on your electric bill. You’ll also spare the nonrenewable fossil fuels that are likely being burned to produce the electricity to power that tv that no one’s watching. I’ve been turning off unused lights and tv’s for years now. It’s an easy habit to make, and a good one to have at that.

Megan got into Towson, her first choice!!! Yay!!! Good news like that should come more often.

No Friday Five this week, so I’m trying a word association list for Sundays from Luna Nina.

Mitchell:: Joni
Mercury:: car
Cycle:: motorcycle
Engagement:: wedding
Alternative:: music
Gang:: fight
Emotional:: condition
Skinny:: mini (or minnie)
Hypochondriac:: sick
Insecure:: afraid

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