Monthly Archives: May, 2004


It’s almost six o’clock and I have done nothing today. This is what being out of school is doing to me. My weekdays are just shorter. I work for three or four hours with my piano teacher, then come home and do what I want until I have to go to bed. That’s the only difference. Late weeknights hurt me because I have to get up in the morning. Just like school.

College! I got a booklet from the Office of Resident Life, and one from University Honors, yesterday. Being in Honors Humanities, I’m supposed to move onto campus on August 26th. I imagine my first weekend on campus will be lonelier than most. My birthday is the 30th, which is also the first day of classes. I’m in for either a doubly-good, doubly-bad, or half-and-half day. With all the stress and trials beginning college causes to everyone, I’m expecting doubly-bad. I also found out a few hours ago that Greg was not admitted to UMD for the fall, which means he won’t be around to help me celebrate. That sucks, for that reason and because it has put him farther into the downtrodden state he’s been in lately. I wanted him to get in, not only to be with me, but also to boost his self-esteem. Now, I’m not sure what to do.

Anyway, I originally planned to write up a packing list today. I need to decide what I’m taking. I also have to make a big list of “don’t forgets” like my vitamins, a shower caddy, and a power strip. I’m also anxious to get in touch with my roommate. I’ve never had a roommate for longer than a week, so this is a big deal. I hope I like her. I can generally get along with all kinds of people. The few that claim to hate me usually do so because I’m smart. I get good grades, and I’m not a… well, I don’t swear, but you can fill in the blank there. That confuses people. Too bad for them. (And while I’m on the subject, “hate” is such an overused word. I feel intense dislike for people and things at times, but I rarely ever hate.)

I’m just anxious about the future in general. I’m in for a tremendous life change, probably the biggest until I get married (if I do). I’m not ready to be a grown-up. When something happens that I don’t think I can handle, I call my mom. I’m not ashamed to admit that, but it definitely makes me feel more like a child. I have a great family. As far as parents go, mine are pretty good. They have standard parental issues, but otherwise we coexist happily. I’m so dependent on them, though. Some of my friends have more strained relationships with their parents, which lead them to be as independent as possible. They’re ready to be grown-ups. I’m not independent like that. I need my parents, I truly do. They’ll still be around. I may wind up moving back here next year, but that’s still tentative. I have a whole summer to get used to the concept. I’ve survived so far. I sense steeper climbing in the future, but I’m getting better at handling the terrain every day.


Like my new layout? It’s my simplest ever, as far as I can recall. Even the garish pages of my first website weren’t as simple as this. Granted, I didn’t know CSS existed back then (did it?), but still. I tried a different positioning technique this time; let me know if everything lines up for those of you that use 1024×768. “Spoken” and “currently” are gone, as are my “outside” links. They’re all still in the big links page, though. The remaining links are the mini butterflies, which are just mini copies of the big butterfly. Yay for image editing!

I found out earlier that, by being a budding entomologist, Ryan is doing me a favor. He found out how to tell the difference between male and female cicadas, so whenever he sees a live one by itself, he tries to find it a mate. It turns out that after they mate, they die. What a life, huh? Live underground for seventeen years, emerge in a great swarm, have sex, die. What happens to the cicadas whose burial sites were paved over since the last swarm? Do they just die without ever emerging? That’s kind of sad.

My week’s been pretty blah. We’re having our bathrooms remodeled, so that when my parents decide to sell, the house will appraise higher. That means there are workmen in here for the bulk of the day. I prefer being out of the house while they work, especially now. They’re doing my bathroom, so if I’m hope, I’m basically trapped (a) upstairs, (b) in my room, or (c) in the computer room. None of those is particularly appealing, so I get out. I’ve been making the short-but-cicada-filled trek a few streets over to my piano teacher’s house to help her clean. I could use the money and the exercise (cleaning burns calories, especially in this heat!), and it gets me out of the house. Her house is enormous — 21 rooms. They’ve lived there for 31 years, so they’ve accumulated a lot of, well, stuff. I’ve been dusting and such for the past few days, but I think tomorrow we start de-cluttering. That should be interesting.

I promised myself I’d work this summer, so not having time to lay around *cough*Iris*cough* doesn’t bother me. Greg’s boss is all ready to hire me to work at his store. I still have to run the details by my mom, but I think I’ll do it. I’m tired of cleaning. It’s so boring. I need to iron out some details and get Mindy back, but as she’s gone for repairs now, I should be good to go.

I get the feeling that this summer is going to be interesting. I hope I’m right. Boring sucks.


Well. I’ve pretty much given up on trying to recap when I have blogging dry spells like this, so I’ll just write what comes to mind

Yesterday was my last day of school. I am finished with high school. It’s such a weird feeling, knowing that I will never have to go to a high school class again. I’ll never have to drag myself out of bed on a dismal Monday morning to go to Oxon Hill. Wow.

So today, I took advantage of the day off. I went shopping. Greg took me out to St. Charles, and I got a hair clip and necklace at Icing and earrings at JC Penney. They don’t exactly match, but they’re all pink. And I got nail polish at Icing, too, because I knew the color matched the dress perfectly. I checked just a little while ago, when I was trying on all the accessories. I was right, it does match. We saw a bunch of people from school there: Jamesa, Sherelle, and Veronica in Icing, and Greg B. and Colin in the food court.

After shopping, we went down to see Shrek 2. I wasn’t expecting a lot out of it. I firmly believe that not every popular movie requires a sequel. Some are just great on their own. It was pretty good. There were new surprises, and it was funny, but not as much as the first one. I think a reviewer I heard on the radio put it best. With the first movie, there were no expectations. It turned out to be fabulous. Because the first was fabulous, we expected a lot from the second, and it does a decent job of living up to that. I wouldn’t see it again, and I probably wouldn’t buy it, but it wasn’t bad. Some people called it plotless. I found a plot. It was worth it (though we did see a matinee).

The only reasons I went to school yesterday were to take my math final, turn in my crappy Geology project, and go to the senior meeting. Greg gave me a ride to school. I was a bit late, but the final wasn’t too hard, so it was fine. And we’d discussed synthetic division in the car, so it was weird to find a synthetic division problem on the test. As long as that conic section was an ellipse and not a hyperbola, I’m good. I almost want to show up in school next week just to find out what my grades were on my finals. Ms. Sim and Mr. Adkins both said nice goodbyes to me. The meeting was mostly pointless, as almost all the class meetings were. They did tell us “no sandals” for graduation, which is a problem. My graduation shoes are definitely sandals. They’re kind of casual though, so I might have to return them — which sucks because they’re the most comfortable shoes I have ever worn. I’ll have to clarify at grad rehearsal. If they just want dressy shoes, I can wear my prom shoes. I’m actually wearing them right now, to break them in a bit. Walking so slowly is getting on my nerves, though. I got a ride home from Stephanie after the meeting, so I got home early and I didn’t have to take the bus. Yayness.

The bus. I had to take it home twice this week, because I got in an accident Tuesday morning. I don’t want to go into the details. It makes me relive the crash. No one was hurt, though I do have this bruise under my knee. It only hurts when I kneel on it, though. Mindy was more damaged than the other car. She’s fit to drive, but only if I absolutely need to. I felt bad for asking Greg to take me out today, especially since the car he drove has problems, but he did it anyway. He’s a keeper, that one. Mindy won’t be fixed for a while, though, so I’m stuck at home. I didn’t have plans to go anywhere, but still.

AP US History ended surprisingly well. I made the Promised Land on the last test, and I did it again on Tuesday. More yayness. Ending the class with two Promised Lands in a row. I also started working on my paper a day earlier (i.e. two days before it was due instead of just one), so I think it turned out better than usual. And I did the whole thing without one website. I got a lot of books for projects the last time I was at the library.

Prom is tomorrow night. I’m excited. I rarely dress up, so it should be cool to be all princessy. As long as I don’t fall down, I should be fine. I like dancing. I might not look great doing it, but I don’t care. The point is to have fun, and I can’t have fun standing around. If they wanted us to stand around, they’d call it a “stand-around”, not a “dance”.

I need a new layout. For that, I need time. Maybe next week while I’m sitting around the house. We’re remodeling my bathroom, though, so they might take up the hallway. That could leave me trapped in my room (sans computer) — or worse, trapped outside my room! Oh, the potential horror!

Now that the stress is alleviated for a while, I think I’ll feel less emotionally drained. Maybe the Year from Hell is over.



There’s only one more week of school left. If I make it, I will have survived the Year from Hell. I’d buy myself a present to celebrate, but that doesn’t seem right. Lately, everything got crammed into a short period of time again. I wrote a stream of consciousness essay for AP Lit last night, even though I’ve known about it for weeks. Stream of consciousness is very eleventh-hour friendly. I also threw together a skit based on The Catcher in the Rye for my group. I was working with Ian, Greg, and Gonzo, so I expected criticism and the like. They actually liked it. Ian called it a “masterpiece”. It’s hard to get a genuine compliment from that one, so that was nice. And Hopie liked it, too. I don’t think anyone really got it (except me, of course), but it makes me think that I should write after midnight more often.

My Geology project is nowhere near completion. Mr. Witko expects way too much work, so he winds up with projects that have huge volume, but are also crappy. Our senior final is to write about five topics and make a PowerPoint presentation. The PowerPoint isn’t such a big deal. He writes us passes to the CyberLab every day so we can work on them. The paper will be trickier. He wants 10 pages for an A — per topic. A 50-page geology paper is unreasonable. My RP paper wasn’t that long, and I spent a year on that! Witko did give us an open extension to Thursday, but still. I just don’t feel like doing it. That’s another thing that makes me wish I could b.s. a project. I already copied in a paper I wrote last quarter (the topic was on the final list), but there’s not enough. This sucks.

AP Lit will be over on Monday, after the final. It’s on The Catcher in the Rye. That’s good and bad, because I read the book, but it was a while ago. And I got mine from the library, so it had to be returned. It would suck to get a bad grade on such a predictably easy test.

PreCalculus has become Calculus. Luckily, I can still do it. That’s one of the benefits of being “behind” in math like I am. Last year, when I was stuck in Trig Analysis, I had so much antagonism toward Dr. … (I’ve forgotten his name). He created my sophomore schedule for me, so it’s partially his fault I took Algebra II that year instead of Algebra II/Trig, which is why my math fell behind. This year, though, I listen to everyone’s AP Calc horrors, and I’m glad I wasn’t lined up to take that this year. Another AP test, possible jeopardy to my GPA, so much stress — I wouldn’t be able to handle it. PreCal is working, though. I learn quickly, so as long as I can remember it all, I do well.

Adkins is my main reason for going to school. Adkins and math. After the Parent Appreciation Breakfast/ Senior Awards Ceremony, I went back to school for Adkins’ class, then went home again. The Breakfast was okay. The food wasn’t great. Potatoes are terrible undercooked, and those were definitely undercooked. I liked the biscuits, though. The ballroom was gorgeous. Big chandeliers and mirrors. Someone mentioned that they host proms there. But back to Adkins. I made the Promised Land again last test. My third time this year, I think. My last test will be my final, and it’s on Tuesday. Unfortunately, my final project is due on Wednesday, which means I might not get to work on it until Tuesday night, since Greg’s having a birthday party tomorrow, and I have to do my RP project on Sunday. That makes me angry. I don’t procrastinate on purpose. I just have so much to do.

I don’t know how I’ve managed to get through this year intact. So far. I got my homework done this week and sent all my graduation announcements, but my projects lie dormant. Long-term doesn’t work for me. Long-term means getting postponed in favor the short-term, which obviously have greater priority. Then, I have to take time to do the things I want to do (like blogging right now). And my mom is giving me such crap lately. I’m not perfect. I try to be the best person possible. I really do. They’re just not satisfied. They’re proud of me, but they want more. I’m so obedient and rule-abiding, I’m almost boring. It’s hard to maintain.

I got my confirmation from UMD today. Classes start on my birthday. And I will be on campus the previous weekend for freshman something-or-other. I just hope nothing goes terribly wrong that day (which, taking the Year from Hell into account, is wishful thinking). I had a crappy sixteenth birthday. It could be a great transition, starting college and being a legal adult on the same day. Or it could just suck. I’m hoping for the former.

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