Monthly Archives: July, 2008

ACE Teacher Song Parody

We English teachers are at it again. Today, we went over how to teach humor. Class was fairly enjoyable today. Dr. Lamm asked us to collaborate on a parody of “My Favorite Things” (from The Sound of Music). I asked if we could write about “My Most-Hated Things” instead, and this was our resulting first verse.

Mayonnaise on burgers and leaky trash water,
Reruns of Top Gun and Welcome Back, Kotter,
Checks on Doc’s* homework, his frightening smile,
These are some things that I really revile.

*Doc Doyle is our Intro to High School Teaching professor, who is also in charge of the ACE M.Ed. program. He’s an excellent teacher and incredibly knowledgeable (one of the Montgomery ACErs is teaching at a middle school named for him!), but he intimidates us every second he’s not helping us learn or making us laugh with joy.

ACE Teacher Limerick

In my English content class this afternoon, the other 15’s and I wrote a collaborative limerick.

There was a young teacher in ACE.
Guys got in her personal space.
One was quite a tiger,
And his name was Zeiser*.
To stay chaste she brought out her mace.

*It should be noted that Zeiser, though a real person, did not do this. He is quite the stand up guy, in fact. We just liked the sound of “tiger” and “Zeiser.” We have English degrees; we’re qualified to do things like that.

The Big Read

The Big Read reckons that the average adult has only read 6 of the top 100 books the organization has selected.
1) Look at the list and bold those you have read.
2) Italicize those you intend to read.
3) Underline the books you LOVE.
4) Strike out the books you have no intention of ever reading.
5) Bold and strike books you read but hated.
6) Reprint this list in your own LJ blog.

1 Pride and Prejudice – Jane Austen
2 The Lord of the Rings – JRR Tolkien
3 Jane Eyre – Charlotte Bronte
4 The Harry Potter Series – JK Rowling
5 To Kill a Mockingbird – Harper Lee
6 The Bible (most of it)
7 Wuthering Heights – Emily Bronte
8 Nineteen Eighty Four – George Orwell
9 His Dark Materials – Philip Pullman
10 Great Expectations – Charles Dickens
11 Little Women – Louisa M Alcott
12 Tess of the D’Urbervilles – Thomas Hardy
13 Catch 22 – Joseph Heller
14 Complete Works of Shakespeare (some of them)
15 Rebecca – Daphne Du Maurier
16 The Hobbit – JRR Tolkien (about two thirds before I got bored and quit)
17 Birdsong – Sebastian Faulks
18 Catcher in the Rye – JD Salinger
19 The Time Traveller’s Wife – Audrey Niffenegger
20 Middlemarch – George Eliot
21 Gone With The Wind – Margaret Mitchell
22 The Great Gatsby – F Scott Fitzgerald
23 Bleak House – Charles Dickens
24 War and Peace – Leo Tolstoy
25 The Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy – Douglas Adams
26 Brideshead Revisited – Evelyn Waugh
27 Crime and Punishment – Fyodor Dostoyevsky
28 Grapes of Wrath – John Steinbeck
29 Alice in Wonderland – Lewis Carroll
30 The Wind in the Willows – Kenneth Grahame
31 Anna Karenina – Leo Tolstoy
32 David Copperfield – Charles Dickens
33 Chronicles of Narnia – CS Lewis
34 Emma – Jane Austen
35 Persuasion – Jane Austen
36 The Lion, The Witch and The Wardrobe – CS Lewis (isn’t this also 33?)
37 The Kite Runner – Khaled Hosseini
38 Captain Corelli’s Mandolin – Louis De Bernieres
39 Memoirs of a Geisha – Arthur Golden
40 Winnie the Pooh – AA Milne
41 Animal Farm – George Orwell
42 The Da Vinci Code – Dan Brown
43 One Hundred Years of Solitude – Gabriel Garcia Marquez
44 A Prayer for Owen Meaney – John Irving
45 The Woman in White – Wilkie Collins
46 Anne of Green Gables – LM Montgomery
47 Far From The Madding Crowd – Thomas Hardy
48 The Handmaid’s Tale – Margaret Atwood
49 Lord of the Flies – William Golding
50 Atonement – Ian McEwan
51 Life of Pi – Yann Martel
52 Dune – Frank Herbert
53 Cold Comfort Farm – Stella Gibbons
54 Sense and Sensibility – Jane Austen
55 A Suitable Boy – Vikram Seth
56 The Shadow of the Wind – Carlos Ruiz Zafon
57 A Tale Of Two Cities – Charles Dickens
58 Brave New World – Aldous Huxley
59 The Curious Incident of the Dog in the Night-time – Mark Haddon
60 Love In The Time Of Cholera – Gabriel Garcia Marquez
61 Of Mice and Men – John Steinbeck
62 Lolita – Vladimir Nabokov
63 The Secret History – Donna Tartt
64 The Lovely Bones – Alice Sebold
65 Count of Monte Cristo – Alexandre Dumas
66 On The Road – Jack Kerouac
67 Jude the Obscure – Thomas Hardy
68 Bridget Jones’s Diary – Helen Fielding
69 Midnight’s Children – Salman Rushdie
70 Moby Dick – Herman Melville
71 Oliver Twist – Charles Dickens
72 Dracula – Bram Stoker
73 The Secret Garden – Frances Hodgson Burnett
74 Notes From A Small Island – Bill Bryson
75 Ulysses – James Joyce
76 The Bell Jar – Sylvia Plath
77 Swallows and Amazons – Arthur Ransome
78 Germinal – Emile Zola
79 Vanity Fair – William Makepeace Thackeray
80 Possession – AS Byatt
81 A Christmas Carol – Charles Dickens
82 Cloud Atlas – David Mitchell
83 The Color Purple – Alice Walker
84 The Remains of the Day – Kazuo Ishiguro
85 Madame Bovary – Gustave Flaubert (about half)
86 A Fine Balance – Rohinton Mistry
87 Charlotte’s Web – EB White
88 The Five People You Meet In Heaven – Mitch Albom
89 Adventures of Sherlock Holmes – Sir Arthur Conan Doyle
90 The Faraway Tree Collection – Enid Blyton
91 Heart of Darkness – Joseph Conrad
92 The Little Prince – Antoine De Saint-Exupery
93 The Wasp Factory – Iain Banks
94 Watership Down – Richard Adams
95 A Confederacy of Dunces – John Kennedy Toole
96 A Town Like Alice – Nevil Shute
97 The Three Musketeers – Alexandre Dumas
98 Hamlet – William Shakespeare (isn’t this also 14?)
99 Charlie and the Chocolate Factory – Roald Dahl
100 Les Miserables – Victor Hugo

Sonnet of the Procrastinator

When I consider every thing that grows
Weary with toil, I haste me to my bed
Where you may be, or your affairs suppose
Sweet love renew thy force, be it not said

Thou canst not vex me with inconstant mind
The ornament of beauty is suspect
By oft predict that I in heaven find
In our two loves there is but one respect

I have no precious time at all to spend
But let your love even with my life decay
In sequent toil all forwards do contend
That Time will come and take my love away

Our love was new, and then but in the spring
O how thy worth with manners may I sing

My creation, via the Shakespeare Sonnet Shake-Up

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